(Closed) Couples doing everything together…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What kind of couple are you?

    We do everything together -- that's what being a couple is about!

    We do some things together, and some things apart.

    We're Mulder and Scully (a couple who doesn't SHOW their coupleness)

    I wish we were different as a couple.

    I like the way we are as a couple.

    Ummmm neutral option here!

  • Post # 152
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We do EVERYTHING together. She and I are best friends. She moved 2 hours away from her friends, so all of our friends are either mutual or where my friends first. In the 4 years we’ve been together I can’t remember a time either of us left the other one at home to do something alone. 

    Now our exception is when we are at social events or out with other couples, we aren’t glued at the hip. She and I mingle and chat with our other friends, we often don’t even sit by each other at a table with a large group.

    She isn’t interested in being friends with people she works with, as she feels she is there to work not be social. 

    But yeah, when she’s home, she and I go everywhere and do everything together. 🙂

    Post # 153
    Member
    2943 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @s2bmrscook:  It’s summer semester, and my DH doesn’t teach. I am not working and am waiting to start school in the fall myself. Basically, we have zero reason to be apart and are currently together just about every waking moment. We still hate the idea of being separated for activities. Example, he has to go to a semester-planning meeting today for a couple of hours, and we’re both a little pouty about it, though I’m glad to have the time to clean up the house. The last reply on your text screenshot could have come from his phone.

    Again, I’m not saying we can’t do it or that we don’t have any fun apart. We just truly prefer to be together. He’ll even pretend to like shopping because he wants to spend time with me when I go.

    Post # 154
    Member
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    FH and I do most things together, but we are still individual people with other interests outside of each other. I like hanging out with him and he likes hanging out with me, but I also enjoy girl time. 

    Post # 155
    Member
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    @peachacid:  Ok I’ll bite. 

    I was single (or in terrible relationships where I didn’t want to bring my SO around my friends, lest they see what a dumbass I was :P) for a LOOOONG time. So I’m cool being without my man most of the time.

    HOWEVER… I would have totally acted like your friend in this situation. Yeah, SHE knew other people there… but did her SO? I love my SO’s friends so when we’re at his friends’ parties, we split up a lot because I want to talk with the wives and less geeky dudes, and he wants to be a big nerd. My friends, on the other hand, are definitely more… uh… crazy. I have a ton of fun with them, but SO doesn’t have much in common with them. So if we’re at an event for “my people”, I stick with him most of the time. At a wedding this would probably mean I wouldn’t dance much because SO doesn’t dance (especially not to fast songs).

    No diss to my friends… but if my guy is willing to spend the weekend with “my people” who he doesn’t have fun with, I’m going to pay more attention to him and make sure he’s as comfortable as possible. I mean, it would be pretty mean of me to make him come to that event and then ditch him most of the time, right? I wouldn’t want to be that date. 

    Post # 156
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    @peachacid:  “I had an ex tell me once that when we were married, I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my friends.  I couldn’t have dumped him more quickly.”

    I know someone who ended an engagement because of this. They got engaged during college, moved to a new state together (had gotten jobs at the same company). She met new people and was hanging out with them. He said “Soo you aren’t going to do this once we’re married, right?” Yea that wedding (mostly planned) didn’t happen. I heard about this through the mom network, so I’m sure there was more to it than this one comment, but seriously!

    I think what people are missing is that your friend was a bridesmaid! The bridal party makes up your closest friends–why wouldn’t they stay for the entire wedding? There’s another thread going on where someone is a Maid/Matron of Honor and asking if it’s okay if she leaves the wedding early to hang out with her SO–and the Bee has given a resounding NO. It’s also really weird that she was glued to her husband the entire night. Presumably the two of you were good friends–why wouldn’t she want to spend time with you (and possibly other friends?) at your wedding?

    Post # 158
    Hostess
    11163 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Between work, working out, coaching and playing volleyball and desperately trying to keep up with friends my DH and I have to cherish every moment we actually have together.

    We absolutely do not do everything together, in fact some accuse us of not doing enough. What we have works for us and we make the most of time we do have. We are not living as a “unit” and we certainly do not have to be joined at the hip. I would drown in that type of relationship, isn’t for me.

    Post # 159
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    @peachacid:  Oh I’m totally up for the 24/7 (or 23/6) with my cat. She’s fluffy and sweet. And likes her alone time!

    I mentioned this thread to Fiance tonight, and mentioned there are so many couples who do everything together. He was like “Ummm no. I’ve already said that’s not going to happen. We need to have apart time!” I totally agree. We have different social styles and different hobbies. We love doing things together, and we certainly love each other a lot, but as they say “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!”

    Post # 160
    Member
    264 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @peachacid:  I live with my husband, so we always leave together. But it’s funny because at our wedding after the ceremony, first dance, cake cutting, and dinner we hardly saw each other. But we’re comfortable with things the way they are.

    We don’t like to do everything together. We rarely fight (maybe once a year), and we keep our finances separate. I like it, he likes it, and it works for us – which is all that matters.

    I have nothing against couples who like to do most things together, but it gets a bit much when you can’t have a girls night and your friend only does things because their partner does. I think it’s unhealthy to lose yourself in a relationship.

    The topic ‘Couples doing everything together…’ is closed to new replies.

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