Post # 62
@Little_Hedgy: This is exactly how we are, too.
We do the vast majority of things together. He goes out with his friends maybe once a week and I do the same. If I go to get my nails or hair done, he doesn’t tag along. But other than a few instances like those, we do everything together. We go shopping, run errands, work out, do schoolwork/work, watch TV, etc. together. I like it this way. We are truly best friends and I love sharing “life” with him. Something as simple as running to Target or sitting down to read next to each other becomes really special.
However, I know it isn’t like this for most people. I genuinely never need a “break” from my Fiance, and I know a lot of my friends often say that they need time away from their SO to feel like themsevles, be with other people, etc. It just doesn’t work that way for us.
Post # 63
We are very, very independent people. We were long distance for two years, and I’m currently on a different continent working, so we’ve firmly established our ability to be separate people.
I love my husband (obvs) and think he’s totally awesome, and I love doing things with him – hanging out with our daughter, going to eat, whatever. But I also like having other people to hang out with and whose company I enjoy, especially for things my husband doesn’t really like to do. I love to go dancing (my husband doesn’t), and he likes to go and drink old scotch and play long card games with his friends (I surely do not). We have plenty of fun separately and then come home and snuggle.
Bottom line, I don’t think my husband needs to be everything for me, and vice versa.
Post # 64
I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned you were LD in the beginning. DH and I have always been independent people….when we were with others, we did our own things.
However, when we met he was overseas and I went to visit….then live with him for awhile. I didn’t have a car, a job (couldn’t b/c of the visa thing), and no friends except his coworkers. We were together all the time.
Now that we are married (and still overseas), it is the same for us. Most of the people we know (our age) have kids so they don’t leave their kids for a second and it’s kinda a package deal. We joke that we’d be a different kind of couple if we lived back in the States.
Post # 65
I voted everything together, but it’s really most things together and some things apart. I didn’t feel “some things together” was a correct representation.
We enjoy the same hobbies and have mostly the same friends (since we were friends first) and he’s my best friend. I even go to some of his game nights because I like playing board games with him. He invites me so I’m not just randomly deciding to tag along.
Post # 66
We don’t do everything together….mainly because we rarely see each other! But when we are together then we usually do things together.
I do find it quite amusing though that my friend is convinced that once we are married the only time we can do something together is when he is working! I am trying to explain to her that if we make plans to do something one Saturday (she usually works Saturdays so to have one off for her is rare) then we will do it. Ok, so I may let him n know that is what I am doing and if he is alright with it but I would never ask his permission.
Post # 67
Mulder and Scully right here! Different friend groups, but still supportive of those friendships and I really need space sometimes. I can’t stand it when people say they can’t do x without their SO. I hate to think who they will have left if they ever break up!
Post # 68
We do everything together and at my friend’s wedding. I sat with my Fiance, chatted with him all night, danced with him and when we decided we’d had enough we left. I have also refused to go another friend’s wedding because my Fiance wasn’t invited and I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself without him there. Her justification for not giving me a +1 was that we weren’t a married couple!
Post # 69
I could not see us doing that at a wedding. We are very much our own people & can socialize by ourselves. We have gone out in a group & not talked to each other again until the end of the night. We also started long distance as in 1200 miles. We are fully capable of doing our own thing. A wedding for my friend I am standing up for does not scream ‘date night’ to me… That’s for sure. But I would most def leave with my husband…
Post # 70
We do a lot of things separately. He likes hunting and diving so I see those times as a way for time for myself. He also doesn’t drink so I usually go out withnmy friends without him. We are both just independant people. It would drive me INSANE to hang out with him alk the time. I need time to be just me!
I am extremely happy with our relationship, hence the whole marriage thing 🙂
Post # 71
We do things together about half the time. I do wish it was more or that the things we do do together are more coupley. Certain things don’t require us both to do together – like me shopping or him going to the shooting range. Things like weddings, yes we attend as a couple and stay as a couple, we do dance freely and with other friends/family. I think there’s a nice balance in this. It keeps us sane if we aren’t doing the samet hing 100% of the time.
Post # 72
@peachacid: Well, the leaving together thing I get, unless they drove separate cars or something.
DH and I don’t do everything together, simply because we have most interests in common, but some that we don’t share. Also, we’re both the sort of people who need a bit of time alone – so often when we’re doing things separately, it’s not because there’s someone else we’d rather be with, but because we just need alone time to stay sane.
DH does have social anxiety, but he’d prefer not to attend an event where he would feel uncomfortable rather than forcing me to spend the entire night with him and not speak to my friends or socialise.
Post # 73
there are many reasons my fiance and i do most things together:
1. we both love doing the same things.
2. we work as a social unit; i would never stay at a wedding if he really wanted to leave.
3. we both work a ton, so weekends are usually the only time we have to spend together.
4. we are both on the shy side, and feel more comfortable in groups if we are together.
5. we lived six hours away for almost a year at the beginning of our relationship, and i think that just set the tone for us that we want to spend every moment we can together.
6. he is truly my best friend and i want to do everything with him, and he feels the same about me. it just works for us!
Post # 74
I guess the difference for me is, if I couldn’t
stand to be around my husband 24/7, I wouldn’t have married him because I’d rather just be single. I never wanted to get married and I was fine dying as an old crazy cat lady. However, when I met my husband I couldn’t imagine not
being with him. Basically, I married him because
I want to be with him all the time, not the other way around.
Post # 75
We do a lot of things together and a lot of things not together. If I was at a wedding, I would also want to sit next to DH, I would want to dance with him during slow dances and with my friends too, and we would decide when to leave together.
We are also good at not doing everything together. For example, DH went to his friend’s birthday party in a town three hours away overnight alone because I didn’t want to go and I had already committed to babysitting my sister’s dog along with my dog. I didn’t want her to have to sit in the car for three hours three days in a row. DH doesn’t tag along when I go shopping, go hang out with my friends, or go work out with friends.
Post # 76
We’re appropriate levels of couple-dom. We do everything together that comes naturally. Hanging out with mutual friends, grocery shopping, going to dinner or movies, travelling. But when it is things only one of us is interested in (haircuts, clothing shopping, meeting that one annoying friend, etc), we back off. We enjoy each other’s company, but we never crowd one another.