posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
132 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve been to two couples showers and we are having one as well. I am the same as you and don’t really love being the center of attention. Fiancé has zero problem being in the spotlight so having a couples shower works well. 

The couples showers I’ve been to were a great time, felt a little less formal than the bridal showers. I also think if you’re concerned about wanting “girl time” that you need not worry- men and women seem to break off into groups at some point in my experience. 

Can’t really remember the games to be honest, but google had some good ideas. If you aren’t playing the the shoe game at your wedding your shower would be a great opportunity! 

Post # 3
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

ellethebee :  The problem with your idea isn’t that it’s “non-traditional.” It’s that you’re basically throwing yourself a big present-party. Paying 2/3 of the cost of your shower is paying for your own present-party. It doesn’t make any sense to choose an expensive venue and then have to scout around for people to fill up that venue. If you only have 25 people you’re close to, and your bridesmaids can only afford 1/3 of the cost of the 40 person venue, the answer isn’t for you to kick in the other 2/3 and find a bunch more people. The answer is to find a location for 25 that costs 1/3 of the fancier venue. You can’t say this replaces an engagement party and wedding party meet & greet because 1) those are optional and most people don’t even have them, and 2) those aren’t present parties. That’s why this looks like a big gift-grab. It has nothing to do with traditional or not. It has to do with you inviting people who are probably already going to give you a wedding present, to another event where the main focus is more presents. Doesn’t look good on you.

Post # 4
4603 posts
Honey bee

I’m fine with any party that has booze.  Couples showers can be fun so long as the other half of the couple wants it.  They have a different vibe.  Fewer or different games, more drinking.  Usually they have been more BBQ/grilling-centric in someone’s backyard.

I’m confused as to why you are making a party bigger when it isn’t what you want.  I think you are making this much harder and more expensive than it has to be.  Every shower I have been to has been between meals – finger foods, cake, and punch, and in someone’s home or the party room at someone’s apartment complex, or one time I attended a baby shower where they rented a VFW hall for super cheap because both sides had a large family and they were having twins so there was two of a lot of things.

It doesn’t sound like this “venue” is the perfect venue.  A perfect venue would accommodate the number of guests you have and be in your budget.  So this venue is not the perfect venue – at least not for this occasion.  I think you need to either find a new venue or scale down your party and expectations so that you can reasonably fit your party at someone’s home.

Post # 5
6831 posts
Busy Beekeeper

The couples showers I’ve hosted and attended were all evening events and had more of a cocktail party vibe–no shower-type games. Guests in a relationship were invited as couples so you could end up with a lot more than 40 people once you add the SOs of all your bridal party and family members.

I would never invite more people than I thought was appropriate or that i was comfortable with just to meet a minimum or fill up a space. 

ETA: If you just want to get together to celebrate with your BMs and other women in your life you can always host a bridal luncheon–typically not a gift-giving event. 

Post # 6
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Daisy_Mae :  I agree with this, but to answer your original question:

We had a couple’s shower. My side of the family had thrown me a traditional bridal shower & my in-laws wanted to throw us a couple’s one so their male family members could come too. Even though I say “couple’s shower” it was more like a shower open to men too, it’s not like you had to be a couple to come. It was kitchen themed and we did some cute games, like we had to try to guess spices by smelling them. Everyone brought a recipe for us which was I LOVED. It did help as far as opening gifts, I really did enjoy having my Darling Husband there.

Post # 7
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

We had a couples shower neither of us wanted a bachelor or a bachelorette party. It was fun for us and our families 

Post # 12
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

ellethebee :  i’d SO MUCH rather go to a couple’s shower than a “traditional” bridal shower. god, i hate showers. it’s usualy several hours of awkward socialzation – lubricated by booze, if you’re lucky – and then watching someone open presents foreevvvveeerrr. i’d much rather go to a couple’s shower where i hand over the gift and don’t have to sit around watching anyone open anything. i recently went to a baby shower like this and it was GREAT.

Post # 14
4203 posts
Honey bee

ellethebee :  I went to two couple’s shower and one that was kind of but not really.

1. My cousin had a couples shower. My aunt threw it. I did not stay long enough to see if there were games. I only stayed for less than 2 hours to mingle and eat something bec I had another event that evening. We gave them their wedding gift that day of the shower (some serving plates & bowls) because they were having a Destination Wedding the following month so we did not give anymore additional presents on their actual wedding day. 

2. My friend and her now husband threw a couple’s shower for themselves. I did not think it was gift grabby. It was a casual backyard bbq and beer. No decors, no games and no cake. Actually, she told the bridal party no gifts for the shower or the wedding bec of the costs we already have. I did not feel right so I still gifted them a silverware set from their registry on the day of their wedding. 

3. The last one I attended was a bit different. It had all the elements of a traditional bridal shower such as lots of pink decors, banners, and a pretty cake. But what made it different was that the groom was in attendance and there were other male guests. There were lots of games. Most of them are for women only but a few of the games, the men can participate too. Gift-wise, everything was only for the bride…mostly Victoria’s Secret & David’s Bridal gift cards. I gave her a gift card for the shower then I gave a separate cash gift on their weding day for the 2 of them.

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