Post # 1
Some background: I have a really huge family on both my mom and dad’s sides. So large that each side is throwing me a separate bridal shower. I have two aunts who have graciously offered to throw a couple’s shower for Fiance and I (in lieu of an engagement party). These aunts are on my dad’s side.
I am at a loss as to who we should invite. They’re hosting it at one of my aunt’s houses and would like to keep the guest list to about 40 people, which is fine with me. But what is the etiquette for inviting certain people? Do I invite the whole bridal party and their SigO’s? So I invite only cousins and family members from either side that we’re closest to? I don’t want to leave anyone out, but more so, I don’t want to invite people (esp. women) to this couples shower if they’re already going to be attending my bridal shower.
Do the BMs and GMs automatically get invited to everything? I am so at a loss about this. If I could guiltlessly pick and choose aunts, uncles, and cousins from both sides, it woul be so easy, but I don’t want to look bad. Help!!
Post # 3
I was a bridesmaid for a friend who had something llke 8 showers. She invited the wedding party to all of the events, but told us we didn’t need to attend all and/or bring presents to all. She just really wanted her friends around and was that type of person.
I’d talk to your aunts about who they envision the shower is for and if there were certain people they were expecting to be there. I’d assume they’d want their family members there as well as your close friends. You could also get some direction from them if they wanted to meet FI’s side (maybe they see this as a great way to bond with his family, etc.) but, it’s possible they just want to celebrate with you!
Post # 4
@oracle: I agree!
As far as who to invite. Make sure everyone you want to attend a shower is invited to atleast one of them. The wedding party is supposed to be invited to all wedding events and in the case of mutiple showers you can tell them that they only need to bring one gift and not one to each event. I hope this helps.
Post # 5
@oracle: Good point. I have already mentioned to my BMs that they will probably be invited to three events, but please don’t feel like you need to come to all of them and PLEASE don’t bring a gift to each (I think the notion of looking “gift grabby” is more mortifying to me than anything. If my Aunts didn’t want to do a “stock the bar” theme, I would have requested “no gifts” on the invitation).
You’re right, I should talk to them about who they have in mind. It’s so difficult because my families are SO HUGE, and 40 people guest list limit would get eaten up by cousins alone ASAP. I really just want to pick-and-choose my favorites (haha), but am going to have to figure out a more tactful way to do that. I’ll see what they say. Thanks!!
Post # 6
You could always let them decide the guest list as they are hosting.
Post # 7
@julies1949: Unfortunately they won’t go for that 🙁 They said numerous times “this is all about you and Fiance, invite whomever you want”. They just asked that we keep it within the parameters (40 people). I wish they would dictate the guestlist for me!! I wouldn’t have this issue then!!