Post # 1
Bees I’m so sad. Been married a year as of yesterday. Things have been strained between us. My husband ranges from having a bad temper to ignoring me/not having any interest in me to not wanting to have sex. I feel like at best we are roommates who do not do anything pleasurable or recreational with each other. Both of us lost our jobs and are unemployed however he had been doing freelance.
Ive tried focusing on myself, trying to cook for him more/making him feel important/trying to avoid him. Nothing works. I’ve tried expressing my concerns and also pretending I’m fine. Just seems like the spark is gone and there’s no connection.
There was no anniversary card or plans or anything yesterday. I got him a card and he got me nothing.
i wonder if couples therapy is worth trying. Has anyone been in this situation or tried counseling? I don’t know what to tell the therapist? “He doesn’t seem to love me anymore?” Sounds ridiculous. Please help!
Post # 2
We’ve been to couples therapy two different times (welll more than one session each)
first didn’t do much, as I’m not sure either was really willing to make changes.
second round, things helped out a TON and got us back on track. Thing is – all the therapy in the world isn’t going to help until people are willing to help themselves and do what it takes.
if he won’t go, I highly highly recommend going yourself. I did that before our second attempt at therapy and it was SO helpful to figure out my boundaries, what was important to me, what I was doing wrong, and what frankly was acceptable and not. Try an online one to start if finances are an issue, it’s worth it
Post # 3
kw617 : Thank you so much for your response! I really really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and insights. Our first session is on Monday and I am absolutely terrified. I don’t know what he’s gonna say. I think that he is depressed from losing his job. But at the same time he has said things that really worried me. I don’t want to get divorced and I am scared he is going to say that he doesn’t love me or something like that. Thank you so much for your response! I really really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and insights. Our first session is on Monday and I am absolutely terrified. I don’t know what he’s going to say. I think that he is depressed from losing his job. But at the same time he said things that really worried me. I don’t want to get divorced and I am scared he is going to say that he doesn’t love me or something like that. My marital dissatisfaction started after we got into a fight about his attitude he said that we rushed into getting married. I asked him is he trying to push me away and he said that’s not what he is trying to say. However he didn’t say anything to reassure me he wanted to be together. That was about six months ago. So I get scared he’s going to say something about us being together. Our anniversary was yesterday and I got him a card but he did not get one for me. I find myself so hurt that I don’t want to sleep next to him so I sleep on the couch He then gets mad because he says that he wants his wife next to him. I am so confused and upset I really am afraid and I hope I get through this.