(Closed) Couples' Therapy and Individual Therapy- use same therapist?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Nope, I have my individual therapist I see and when we inquired about couples thearpy if we ever wanted it, I told my thearpist that I did not want to share him and he said good since it would not be allowed 🙂  He would have to recommend someone else.  

Post # 4
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would not use the same therapist.

I did this in the past with an ex and ex always complained that the therapist was clearly partial to me since the relationship was already established.  While ex was an terrible mean person, I still agree that it’s hard for the therapist to be impartial.

I would allow your therapist to communicate with the couples one if either saw fit.

Post # 5
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think it’s ethical to use the same therapist. Imagine your spouse’s position. You and your therapist would know each other way better than him. He might be less inclined to open up.


Post # 6
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I have not be in therapy, but my sister has (both couples, and her and her husband both saw different individuals too)

She has said all therapists she saw suggested that they see someone seperate than the couples therapist.  This makes it so the couples therapist remains unbiased…everything that is discussed is talked about with the 3 of you, so there’s no secrets or the feeling that someone is “closer” with the therapist (where biases can form).

Your individual therapist is there to help just you, and will not bring the issues from the couples session into the individuals sessions, unless there are things you want to talk about. 

Overall, I don’t think many couples therapists will also work as your individual therapist while you see them as a couple.

Post # 7
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Nope, it’s a theraputic no-no since the couple therapist is going to focus and rally for the two of you and better communication, if there’s also one on one, their credibility and focus on the pair is comprimised by their focus and support of the individual.  Your couples therapist should be able to refer to you an individual therapist if that’s what you need.

Post # 9
47 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

We are currently in couples counseing and at the beginning both of us did choose to have some one on one time with our counselor.  She was very open about her secrets/no secrets policy and that she would only do it if both of us as a couple agreed and felt comfortable.  It helped us to sort of work out what we wanted to get across with her and then she helped us express that in our couples session in an open and non confrontational way.  Let me be clear though that our individual sessions were not bitch fests about the other person, at least mine wasn’t.  It was meant more to figure out what we were trying to say/ask for and then communicate that to each other.  We haven’t done that for a while though, it was just a couple of sessions in beginning since we are doing better at communication.

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