- 10 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
This is completely disturbing.
This is completely disturbing.
Wow, I can’t believe people do that … we are planning to donate instead of purchasing favors, but it’s to an organization we actually care about, and WANT to donate to! It shouldn’t be a way to get out of paying for something!
I’m sorry if this is threadjacking but I need clarification with this whole process. When donating in this situation, do you have to donate in EACH persons name? Or can you just give a lump sum (based on pp x # of guests) and that’s perfectly acceptable? If you give a lump sum, whose name does it go under?
Because I’m thinking 2$ in each persons name isn’t a whole lot, but 2$ per person times 85 guests (lets say) is a decent sized donation (170$).
Actually, I have an issue with donations as favors altogether. A donation is not an alternative to favors. You could give favors and still make a donation. You could do without favors and still not make a donation. And if you make a donation and don’t have favors, the donation could be more, less, or the same as the favors you would otherwise have had.
If you want to make a donation, why don’t you just make it? Why do you need to announce it to your guests, and act as though it is a favor to them (even though they did not even get to choose the charity)?
but I think the reasons with going that route in the first place is because either the charity being donated to is meaningful to the couple in some way and they’d like to share that with their guests, or maybe its just simply because they’ve heard the horror stories about traditional favours and they want the money they would have spent on something “traditional” to not be wasted, and to go to a good use/cause. Another reason could be that they are an extremely socially concerned couple to begin with and they just wanted to incorporate something they would do anyways into the day that is dedicated to their lives as a couple. Also, and this would be one of my reasons – I don’t usually have, say, 200$ (as a whole amount, not payments or anything) just lying around to be donated to a charity of my choosing…but in planning a wedding, I do. And because I would have spent that money anyways on favours, so why not just donate it?
I would make a donation equivalent to what I had budgeted for favours, personally. I think that’s the only “right” thing to do if you’re having them in lieu of.
Ok I’m just going to throw this out there: but maybe these couples had every intention of making a donation in the guest’s honor, but maybe something came up. As well as you think you know someone, you don’t know every aspect of their finances. I don’t think we could ever be 100% positive they were actually trying to mislead their guests. I’m sure that there are some people who do try to dupe their guests, but I’m just saying maybe it’s better to give them the benefit of the doubt.
What is the point of this post except to make a few people you know look pretty bad to a bunch of internet strangers? I’m sure this doesn’t happen often, and if it does, who cares? It is their karma, not yours.
GREAT point. I had never really thought about it before, but you’re totally right. The whole concept is rather bizarre and unnecessary.
The point of my post was to see if other people knew couples who did this because it really bothered me. Frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is in posting this. Unless of course I’m going to offend someone who did the same thing and if thats the case, then sorry but their guilty of being tacky too. It has been over 2 years since the first wedding and over a year and a half since the second. Don’t you think they could have scrounged up a couple bucks to make the donation in 2 years? I certainly do. Simply put, they claimed to have made the donation to make them selves look better and never intended on a actually following through.
Wow! I thought about doing donations instead of favors, but really I decided we don’t have the money to do it. So we’re just going without favors at all. I can’t imagine lying about donating to a charity when I full well never intend to.
I mean…if you can’t afford favors, just don’t do them. You dont need to explain yourself.
On a side note…the more I think about donations as favors, the weirder I think it is. Because donating money to causes is kind of personal and I can’t really see myself being happy the couple getting married chose to donate to the Republican Party or the NRA when I’m really liberal. It’s not in “my name” then if it’s something I don’t believe in…it’s in YOURS…
Haha sorry…tangent over.
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