(Closed) Couples who don’t actually make the donation…

posted 9 years ago in Favors
Post # 62
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am really surprised people are against donation favors in general.  My fiances mother died from breast cancer so we are donating to susan G komen in her memory.  I want everyone to think of his mom at our wedding because i know how excited she would be about the wedding. I want my fiance to feel like his mom is a part of the wedding even though she cant be there. I really dont think anyone will think of this as bragging. at least i hope they dont because i am definitely doing it!

Post # 64
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That’s totally rude of those couples to say they were planning on making a donation, and not actually do it.  I hope they didn’t say any names of specific charities because that would be tacky x 5.  

I don’t see any problem making donations instead of giving favors though.  I’ve said this before but I work for a worldwide NGO, and of course every NGO relies on the generosity of people who can make donations, big or small.  If someone would rather spend THEIR money on a donation close to their heart, than to buy a couple pieces of candy for their guests to eat, what is the big deal?  Times are changing, there are no rules anymore people.

Post # 65
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

View original reply
@angieinphilly:  I think that is really nice and wont come across as bragging at all. 

Post # 66
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Wow, that is a really terrible thing to do!

This thread just inspired me – 3/4 of our pets were adopted from the same Humane Society and a cute little pet-themed favor with a card that says we made a donation would be super cute (Both of our families are TOTAL pet-people, so this isn’t as weird as it sounds, I swear….)

Post # 67
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know this isn’t about the OP, but I firmly don’t believe in donations as favors either.  They are completely seperate things.  The people that often say they are doing donations are often the same people that say…”we may not do favors, or if we do, we may just make a donation” Not too sure why this has become so popular.  I will be taking the time, and doing something thoughtful for each of my guests to thank them for coming….just a little token from us.  Dontations…..a great idea on its own, but not really a wedding favor.

Post # 68
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

*whew* I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who doesn’t like donation favours.  I’ve always been so afraid to say so to anyone, because people will think I’m horrible.  I give to charity when I can, I give my change to homeless people, I donate blood (or did, before my anemia), etc.  I don’t think it’s anybody’s business.  Even if it were, I agree with 2dbride that the guests don’t have a say in the charity, and don’t have any clue how much you gave, which is also weird.

Also (and this will sound horrible too, but whatever), I hate going home from a wedding empty-handed.  Even if it’s just a centrepiece or a small box with a chocolate in it, I like to get something.  Yes, the bride and groom spend tons of money hosting your dinner, and yes, guests spend money on gifts and travel and outfits, so I guess a lot of people figure it works out.  But the bride and groom are HOSTING a party, and as hosts, it’s only right to give their guests a thank-you for showing up and bringing a gift.  Maybe that’s old-fashioned or greedy or something, I don’t know.

Post # 69
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think donations instead of favors are great. I would much rather have the couple donate the money they would have spent on a favor then be left with a little favor that I will probably never use again.  I don’t think people need to do favors or donations, neither are a necesity by any means, but the few times I have seen donations in lieu of favors I’ve always thought it was just wonderful. I also like learning about the charity they chose since it’s usually something close to the couple’s heart.

That said, I can’t imagine worse karma than saying that and not actually doing it.  Not OK.

Post # 70
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

My bf and I went to a wedding recently and saw that instead of favors and centerpieces they were donating to an animal welfare charity.  I thought it was great but my bf rolled his eyes and said ‘yeah, right’, lol!  He is much more pessimistic than I.

After that, we were joking that when we have a wedding we’ll have empty chargers with a note saying ‘instead of food, we donated a can of soup in your name’, instead of cake, flowers, valet…..lol!  Jk of course but we did wonder if any unscruplous or ‘thrifty’ folks would perhaps use it as an out…

Post # 71
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@2dBride: When someone places a note stating they placed a donation in lieu of a favor, it’s not because they are “announcing it” as though they want a pat on the back. Some people can’t afford to make a “generous” donation under normal circumstances. Instead of spending $1.50 on some tacky coaster, luggage tag or cheap nic-nak, they place their money in their guests honor to a charity where it will be truly appreciated and your guests(if they are not selfish and in dier need of some item from your local dollar/wholesale store)–they too, will appreciate the idea and thought that they were included in a generous act.

It’s not done because they can’t afford favors, it’s putting that money you would have spent on favors towards a better place where it will go further.

 

So in the end—Spending $300 on chocolate covered almonds packaged in a cute “to-go box” or donating that $300 so it can be used for research in the medical field to help save hundreds of thousands of lives, or maybe donating it to an animal shelter where the money can be put towards a larger kennel, more food for the dogs, etc seems to be an easy choice. ANY non-profit organization could use that money more than your guest could use a $1.50 regardlesss, so I’m sure they won’t care what organization the couple chooses as long as they know it was going towards a place that could use it more an truly appreciate it.

 

The whole thing with a couple not placing a donation after telling their guests they were–Of course that is wrong but honestly, only a low life would do something like that and that rare, selfish act should not effect the integrity of a kind act. In the end, putting your money towards a charity opposed to a bunch of inanimate objects is an okay idea by me. haha

Post # 72
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We did a donation and I can honestly say we spent MORE on the donation than we would have on favors.  We also donated to a foundation that was dear to both of our families and our friends – not just us, and that was a very deliberate decision.  As for someone not following through on it – just horrible!  I believe it will catch up to them some day. 

Post # 73
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think the donation thing in place of wedding favors is ridiculous. This is a favor for the guest. If the bride and groom want to make a donation it should be regardless of whether they are having a wedding. If they can’t afford favors, there is no rule that says you have to have them in your wedding.

Post # 74
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

View original reply
@bliss989: It’s not a matter of not being able to afford favors. It’s putting money that you would have spent on a “favor” towards a charity aka towards something that can benefit another living thing rather then a sweet that will just be eaten in a matter of minutes or a piece of junk nic-nac that will be thrown out or tossed in a junk drawer.

Chances are, your guest is not in dier need of a $2 inanimate object that was purchased off a wholesale website and they will be happy to know that the money you would have wasted on junk is being put towards a good cause in their honor.

The average person cannot afford to donate a large sum of money under normal circumstances, so if you are going to just blow a nice chunk of change on cute packaging and ribbon for a tasty good that is going to be trashed, or a coaster that will be tucked away because it doesnt go with their house decor’ or for the simple reason that noone cares to own something with another couples name and wedding date on it, why not put it towards an organization in need where the money will go alot further and improve the life of another being.

No one goes to a wedding to recieve favors- so if you choose not to do a favor because its not in your budget thats fine. But if you were budgeting for favors and know your guests are not hard up for $2 worth of junk, give them the gift of feeling proud that their attendence helped another. It’s a rewarding feeling knowing that just by attending a wedding , you were able to improve the situation of another.

 

Post # 75
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow, where did they get the idea that it would be ok to do that? They didn’t have to do favors if they couldn’t afford it. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that before, it’s freaky that you know 2 couples that did.

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