(Closed) Couples who split household chores- how do you split them?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I cook 95% of meals and do most of the kitchen clean up, and I do all of the grocery shopping. I do my laundry and he does his. I clean the bathroom I use and he cleans the one he and our 2 girls use. I would say I do more of the general picking up around the house during the week. He’s off on Fridays so he does a more thorough clean up once per week, i.e.  vacuuming/mopping, decluttering, etc. He also does the lawn mowing and outdoor maintenance like raking pine needles, blowing out sprinklers, etc. It works wells for us for the most part. 

Post # 3
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We both work full time, but he works more hours than I do, so technically I’m home more than he is. I do *most* of the cleaning (vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, dusting). We do our own laundry for the most part (sometimes do each other’s too). Cooking is a fairly even split, just depends who’s home first, or we both cook together. He gets the stuff I hate.. alllllll the yard work! Mowing grass, trimming bushes, raking leaves, edging etc. In the winter, we split shovelling too, depending on who needs to go to work/who’s still home when it starts snowing. 

He will do anything I ask him to, but I find that sometimes he doesn’t know how/his way isn’t up to my standards so it’s easier to do it myself. Such as washing dishes… he’s terrible at it and leaves stuff stuck inside pots, or will load the dishwasher stupidly so the utensils don’t get cleaned. I just do it myself now and save the aggravation 😉 

Post # 4
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I cook dinner every night. SO does the dishes. 

I clean the shower/toilets/basins/mirrors/surfaces. SO vacuums/mops. 

I make the bed every morning and wash/fold laundry. SO does the dishes throughout the day (usually only a couple of glasses/plates).

I think that’s about it. 

 

Post # 5
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We don’t evenly split household chores down the middle, but my Fiance does his share. He also works a second job from home for some extra cash, so I feel bad asking him to do a lot of chores around the house because he’s usually working.

I do the vast majority of the cooking (my Fiance is not a confident cook at all, but he’ll do meat on the BBQ regularly during summer and is happy to cook if I’m unwell/busy, providing I give him exact instructions on what to do). He does wash the dishes every night, though. We have an agreement that one person cooks and the other washes up, which seems to be working well for us. I clean the bathrooms and do the laundry (washing, hanging up to dry, folding, ironing). We both vacuum/sweep/mop/dust and unload the dishwasher – basically, whoever is free will do it. I feed the cat and change the kitty litter. My Fiance mows the lawn and keeps our deck tidy (sweeping, cleaning the BBQ, etc). I’ll sometimes prune the shrubs and weed, but Fiance does this more often.

Post # 6
Member
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Darling Husband and I honestly just do what needs to be done. We never set guidelines or rules for who does what. If there are dishes in the sink, one of us will put them away. He’s probably more likely to tidy up clutter, whereas I am more likely to break out the vaccuum and cleaning products. I cook more often because I prefer it and he’s awful at it, but he helps out whenever there’s something he can do. We’re equally likely to do laundry or run the dishwasher. 

I don’t know if we just got incredibly lucky or what. I remember talking about the breakdown of chores before we moved in together, but the way it worked out was so much easier. We’d planned on splitting by what we each prefer. But we work on more of a “whoever is free to do it” basis. Or a “who gets annoyed by the pile of dishes first” basis. 😜

But seriously, if one of us is busy then the other will do it. He is a teacher so he does a lot more chores in the summer. I work less hours so I do more of them in general. We both hate laundry so we work on it together. If any of this ever became a problem we would just set up some guidelines, but that’s been unnecessary so far.

Post # 7
Member
9860 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We mostly share chores – we both clean and we both cook probably an equal amount. There are some chores we both really hate that the other one agrees to do. I do the laundry (we have to take it to the club house at our apartment building which is mostly what he hates) and he does the dishes because I hate it! If one of us asks the other to do something we are happy to pitch in. 

ETA: There is no designated chore list, it just all gets done and we both help out if the other asks.

Post # 8
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

DancinDarlin :  it’s easy for us. we split based on what we don’t mind doing. I don’t mind cleaning, running errands, and doing DIY / construction stuff. I’ll probably do the yardwork when we get a house one day. he is responsible for food shopping and cooking. he loves it and I hate it so it’s perfect. (he even goes to farmers markets, it’s adorable.) I have more responsibilities than him, but I work part time, so it’s even. 

Post # 9
Member
6436 posts
Bee Keeper

DancinDarlin :  My husband does a lot of cooking, but I do most of the cleaning.  We also have a tornado for a child, so I spend a good portion of my time cleaning after her….  So cleaning isn’t always done the best.  But I’d say for the most part it is half and half.  I think it’s more who does what at what time.  Like on the weekends I do a lot of the cleaning and mopping, while my husband does a good chunk of the moving things around taking out the trash cleaning the dishes, etc.

Post # 10
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

panda_bear3 :  No. You “teach” him. Have you ever seen the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie where the oldest brother teaches the middle brother how to get out of chores? If you don’t want to be responsible for something, you need to suck at it. Then the parent gets so mad they do it themselves. 

You have the rest of your life with this man. Is he not teachable?

Post # 11
Member
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

We both do groceries and walk/take out the dog and cook. He does the trash 2/3 of the time. I do the cleaning, laundry, dishes, declutering, cat box… So all in all if you count jn hoirs how much time all the chores take.. I do at least 2/3 or 3/4 off the stuff but work part time and he works full time and makes 2x what i currently make. When we both work full time this shit will have to change.

Post # 12
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I do almost everything. I cook almost every night, we only go out to dinner maybe once a month. I love to cook though. He does dishes about twice a week and a load or two of laundry. I do the other ten loads and do dishes regularly. I wish he did more but I knew going into it he isn’t a cleaner and would be okay living messy. Some days he will surprise me and do more things, but most of the time I have to ask. He did just help me with my yard work on the house I own with my mom and does so every few months to get the bushes cut down. I work 20/25 hours now a week and have been off a lot during our years together. He fully supports the house he bought for us where my money goes to support my disabled mother. It works for us and I plan to be a Stay-At-Home Mom in a few years so I will be fine still doing almost everything. Oh he takes out the trash daily too.

Post # 13
Member
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We agreed early on that I do the laundry because he hates it, he does the dishes because I hate it. Up until recently I have done the bulk of the cleaning because I have been home more. Now we are both busy we both clean. TBH- he is a better househusband than I am housewife. He doesn’t like to be bored so he cleans and fixes stuff around the house on his days off. When we are too busy to do anything but sleep we hire a service to clean.

Post # 14
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mrsbclark :  um he is “teachable” but I choose to not flip out over dishes, and do them myself. It’s not my “hill to die on”so to speak 

Post # 15
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I cook 75% of the time, I do the laundry but he puts his things away. He runs dry cleaning, I do the other errands. I pick up around the house. He cleans the cat box and takes out the trash. He pays for the home and has for many years and when I wasn’t able to work I ‘earned my keep’ working at home haha. It’s been really easy except for dishes. We both hate doing them, so we split those too. 

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