(Closed) Couples with different cultures/beliefs- How are you planning on raising kids?

posted 7 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

I am not religious and was not raised religious. FH is a Mormon and comes from a long long long line of Mormons on both sides. I really hope this doesn’t offend other Bees, but to me believing in any God is like believing in Santa. I just throw that in to explain how non-religious I am in comparison to my FH.

He mentioned that his parents would very much like to take our children to church. For me, this is a no go. I don’t believe a child should be brought up to blindly believe in something just because mommy or daddy does. I want them to choose for themselves. I was allowed to do this and I have been eternally grateful to my parents for that.

FH said before we were dating that he would like to raise his children Mormon. As we became serious, I made it very clear that this is not how I will ever raise a child and he has accepted that.

We’ll have to see how it plays out when we eventually become parents. If my children choose to follow their father’s faith, I will support them. If they don’t, I will support them. Religion is a hard thing to compromise on and I know we aren’t done dealing with our differences in this department.

Post # 4
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Im hispanic and my Fiance is Polish, I think about this a lot too.

 

Post # 5
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not religious, but my Fiance is, so we’ve decided that we’ll raise our children in his religion formally (i.e. they will participate in the sacraments), but neither of us go to church weekly so informally they’ll be heathens like me. lol.

Post # 7
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally, and this is a very personal opinion, I agree with you about having them learn both sides. However, in order for them to learn they do need to be exposed to it which includes going to church. Our Christian church does not believe in baptising infants. They will but you have to really persuade them. They believe nobody should be baptised until they make a decision to accept Jesus into their life. This is a point of view you might be interested in discussing with your Fiance. I just started going to church with my Fiance, I was baptised as a baby but my parents never took me to church, I only did Vacation Bible School for one week in the summer which is another way to introduce your children to your FI’s religion.

In terms of different cultures, my Fiance is Cuban and I am not. Although he was born and raised here, he was born and raised in a Hispanic household and Spanish was his first language. He did not learn english until he was sent to school, he learned it in kindergarten. I am working on learning Spanish but I cannot converse in it yet, however, we will be raising our children to speak both languages aas soon as they start speaking. 

Post # 8
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

My Fiance is hispanic and was raised Christian and still has some Christian beliefs. @Tswife4ever: I was raised the way you would like to raise your children and am now Unitarian. I would love to raise my kids Unitarian since it’s less about believing one absolute truth and more about teaching children all different beliefs and that they can believe what feels right for them. It is a very open and non-judging religion.

My Fiance has said she is fine with us raising kids that way, but she’s not sure she’ll go to church with us (I would prefer she go since I do think it gives a good foundation for kids to be part of a positive community with the whole family). I think the only challenges we may come across would be from her family – who is very conservative – but we’ve been dealing with them for 5 years.

I would love to raise our kids speaking Spanish so that they are bilingual, but I don’t speak it (I’m white) and my Fiance has only a basic speaking ability, so she doesn’t like to speak it.

Post # 9
Member
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am American and he is Japanese. We are planning to raise our kids with my religion and both of our cultural ideas. They will be fluent in both languages and hopefully take up another.

Post # 10
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’re pretty similar, Kingy is Australian so we plan to take the kids to Australia once every other year at least (as soon as they aren’t infants, I’m guessing) but thats about it.. I’m catholic and Kingy is nothing so I’m going to raise the kids Catholic until confirmation (8th grade) and then let them make their own choice.. thats what my parents did for me (Mom’s CAtholic, Dad’s Lutheran but mostly nothing) and I think it worked out well

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