Post # 1
My FH and I are getting married at our town’s court house (decided FINALLY today). I know though since this is going to hurt a lot of people’s feelings seeing as they can’t be there, we need to do something else as well.
Has anyone had a "mock" ceremony afterwards? This might be the best solution. We get married a second time, but only the first is offical/"real" and we have our families, wedding party and friends together for the second one.
How would we go about sending out invitations and save the dates for this? Our reception is more of a BBQ buffet at a camp we frequant so it’s fairly casual, but I don’t want it to be brushed off because it’s not a "real" wedding. I’m worried about coming accross rude as well to everyone (which is 98% of our guestlist) that wasn’t invited to our offical ceremony.
Post # 3
Would it help to reframe it and think about it in slightly different terms? Instead of a "mock wedding," could you think of the courthouse as the private civil ceremony and the latter celebration as the personal/ring/exchange of vows ceremony? I think people might be put out a little if you called it a "mock wedding" on the invitation, so these might be some options to help people understand the situation without hurting any feelings.
Post # 4
That’s a wonderful way to look at it… I knew we’d been calling it wrong, but didn’t know any other way to put it. Thank you.
Post # 5
My husband and I took a trip to the courthouse last August and are having a formal (wedding party and all!) ceremony this July. Because we live across the country from our families, no one was able to join us at the courthouse. We did have some unhappy relatives, but with the formal ceremony and reception approaching, they have gotten over it. We opted to save the ring exchange for July to add extra meaning to the ceremony. But in reality, it will be the only public proclomation of our intentions. That gives the July ceremony the sweetest meaning!
Post # 6
My fiance and I actually planned out a traditional wedding ceremony in Milwaukee. All was well and good until I found out that a marriage license in Milwaukee County costs $100 and on top of that you can only apply, both parties, in person, no more than 30 but no less than 8 days ahead of time. We live in Virginia so that would mean making an extra flight out there like 2 weeks before the wedding for one of the most expensive marriage licenses in the country. This was when we decided to get married at the courthouse in the town in which we currently reside about a month before the actual wedding. I really was afraid that people would not be happy with this plan but figured we should inform our guests so that they wouldn’t feel deceived in anyway. Everyone, including my parents, have been very accepting of this though because as the previous poster mentioned, the Milwaukee wedding is the public proclamation of our intentions.
Post # 7
My husband and I had a courthouse wedding and to include everyone in we are planning a "traditional" wedding for this year. So it’s a year later but it allowed us to save up and have the wedding we want. We are planning it like a regular wedding and for those that know we are already married will actually get to participate and for those that don’t know it will just be a wedding to them.
Post # 8
I suggested doing a courthouse wedding to my FH because he really wanted a ceremony/wedding with just us orginally. I also thought that if we legally did it this way, then we could include one more of his friends to do the ceremony. He shot it down. We would have called the ceremony an exchange of vows ceremony. I don’t think people will be miffed if you wanted the private ceremony to yourself, just as long as you didn’t make them believe it was the real one and it wasn’t or marking it down to a mock-celebration.
Post # 9
The kicker here is whether or not you are telling anyone about the courthoue wedding. If you are, then its a ring exchange or a marriage blessing. If you aren’t you can play it as a full blown wedding. But you do need to figure out which and stick with it.