Post # 1
so, I’m getting slightly disheartened by this whole wedding planning process. Future MIL does not want us to have an actual wedding bc she never had one. My family is very supportive and wants us to have at least some sort of a reception and has offered to help pay for it even though we do have money saved for a small wedding. FI says he just wants to be married and will basically do whatever makes me happy but would much rather go to the courthouse. He’s very shy and I think the thought of being in front of a large group of people is intimidating to him. I don’t want a fancy wedding or to spend a lot of money since we are in the process of also buying a house. I’d really love to find a barn, wear a simple vintage dress, have my step mom who is a notary marry us and have a bbq afterwards lol. Of course There will also be s’mores and an open bar.
i just feel like there are too many opinions getting thrown around lol. For example I told my FMIL about my idea to make her realize that I wasn’t trying to spend a ton of money and just wanted a simple ceremony but she turned her nose up at the whole idea and said “that sounds disgusting”
anyone else have issues where you were being made to feel horrible about your “dream” wedding?
Post # 2
Shvern: Tell her to suck it up and do what you want to do. Your idea sounds perfect to me!
I’ve had some flack about wanting mine to be small for SO’s sake but never about how I wanted to do it. I don’t get the “disgusting” comment at all btw. Plus because someone else didn’t get one, you shouldn’t? Psssht throw that line of thinking out the window.
Post # 3
Shvern: When someone is as negative as your FMIL, don’t share any details with her and just send her an invitation. I have a feeling she might not attend, if she’s so disgusted by your ideas, which sounds like it will be better for you, anyway. I don’t know why people have to be so negative; it sounds like it’ s rooted in jealousy, because she didn’t have a wedding, which is very immature.
Post # 4
Shvern: If you guys are paying then the only opinions that matter belong to you and your FI. If your FMIL finds what the both of you decide to host for your wedding disgusting then she is free to rsvp no but I doubt she will.
Post # 5
MstoMrsH: thanks! : ) Yeah I didn’t really understand her disgusting comment either! I guess bc she hates bbq? But who really hates bbq?! Lol.
PABride: shes definitely the jealous type! very hystrionic, hypochondriac, crazy! I wish she would just not show up but there’s no way that I could be so lucky lol. I try really hard to just ignore her majority of the time but every now and then it gets to me. I don’t get negative people either. I’m very laid back and Non judgemental though.
Thanks for making me feel better about not wanting to share with her anymore
j_jaye: I agree, she hasn’t offered to help pay for anything and we would never ask or expect it. Sometimes it just would be nice to have her excited for us…but maybe that’s the people pleaser in me coming out lol.