(Closed) Courthouse wedding a few months before the BIG day…

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 17
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m a little late to this but I feel like posting anyway! 🙂 I haven’t gotten married yet, (paperwork or otherwise) but we are thinking about doing the same thing. My fiance and I also want to get the VA loan to buy a house, so we just thought that getting married would make things easier. I have the same mentality as JenBo. Getting married on paper changes your legal rights, but in our opinions shouldn’t change how we FEEL or anything like that. The wedding ceremony with your friends and family as witnesses will still mean a lot, and you are still committed to each other as always. My dad actually suggested the courthouse wedding idea, and another friend independently suggested the same thing, so we didn’t think anything weird about it. 

However, I do have to warn you that some people might think it is rude. I first went looking on theknot.com about this issue… big mistake! People on there will absolutely tear you apart, telling you that its rude to lie to everyone, you can’t be a bride twice, you are entitled… seriously, tear you apart. I don’t agree with this mentality at all, just wanted to warn you that some people think that.  In my opinion, if you consider your audience you will be fine. Like I said, my family and friends suggested it to me, so I know they would be OK with it. Just beware that some more conservative family friends or relatives might not think as highly of it!

Post # 18
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m in a similar situation. My Fiance is entering into the Air Force and we recently got engaged. We also found out that he is leaving for training much sooner than anticipated (Jan 2013!). Since we don’t want to miss out on things like benefits and living on base together in the future, we need to be legally married before he starts training (…so in a few weeks….eeep). This means that we can get housing allowance, which even though we own a house together he wouldn’t receive unless we were married.

I guess it’s very common in military relationships (Career Day, I believe it’s called). I’m already committed to him and want to marry him, so I see no difference in doing it in the next month legally and then having our big celebration for our wedding later. We’ve decided to keep it secret though and not let anybody except for two close friends know, just so there isn’t any friction as a result…

Post # 19
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

My fiance is in the AF so we are eloping this NYE in Santa Fe since he is stationed in ABQ then planning a celebration next NYE with our friends and family in Dallas. I know alot of our military friends have done the courthouse before the family celebration for assignment reasons. Since he is on year TWO of pilot training and this is our 5th move in 2 years, its just easier to do the courthouse when you dont know where you will be living in 4 months..

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