(Closed) Courthouse wedding, Intimate family dinner and questions…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1985 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

1. It depends on the courthouse- call them and ask

2. I would because I would want them to know I’m married

3.Yes, if you aren’t planning on paying for dinner I would also mention that somewhere on the invite

4. I wouldn’t, but I think that’s a personal decision.

5. I can be pretty blunt so I would just tell them.

6. I think a long dress is fine but I would probably get something a little simpler.  But if you want to then rock that dress!

I would also suggest looking at Mary Jane’s posts- she also did a court house wedding

Post # 5
2487 posts
Buzzing bee

In my county you have to schedule your courthouse wedding. Here they only do three every Friday afternoon so the slots fill up quickly. We scheduled ours a month in advance just to be safe. I’d call and see what they require. 

I personally don’t think invites are necessary but I like the idea of announcements. 

Post # 6
3311 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

With my civil ceremony we were able to walk in and then walk out married within 30 minutes.  So I agree with the other ladies – contact your courthouse to find out how it works with them specifically!

Post # 7
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

When we got married at the courthouse, we had to call the magistrate who was going to be on duty on our chosen date and let her know we were going to get married–that way, we knew she’d for-sure be there. I wouldn’t bother with announcements after the fact; word will probably get around. And yes, I’d send invites to the people who’ll be celebrating with you! This is what we did, and it was nice to have a few traditional wedding-y touches (like invites), even though we kept things pretty casual. We registered at a couple of places, too…just because you’re not having a giant formal wedding doesn’t mean you can’t still register. 🙂

That dress is awesome, by the way. Go for it!

Post # 8
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I like the announcement idea, and if you secure an appointment long enough in advance, you can always do invites. Try looking at sites like minted and wedding paper divas for inspiration on ‘dinner party invitations’. You could always have dinner party invitations that say on them ‘in celebration of ___ and ___ getting hitched!’.

The dress is pretty! Go ahead and wear it if you love it. Who cares what others think -it’s your wedding!

Post # 9
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

1. Like the PPs said – call your courthouse and check their policies.

2. If your friends and family are all local you could put an announcement in the local paper, but that isn’t particularly personal.  There’s nothing wrong with (and something to be said for maintaining relationships by) sending out an announcement afterwards.

3. An invitation should be given, but the FORMALITY of the invitation should reflect the formality of the event. Since your post gives the impression that your event will be less formal your invitations should reflect this.  They don’t need to be written in the third person and addressed with calligraphy – in fact it would likely be more appropriate to send an invitation that reflects the stlye of the event.  – For brides who are pretty much eloping, and just want to invite a few friends, it’s often a better fit to write a personal note to each guest on a blank card; with wording alog the lines of “Dear BFF, Mr. Right and I are going to be exchanging vows at the town courthouse on Friday, November 21 at 4:30 in the afternoon.  We would love for you to join us.  Afterwards we’ll be celebrating with a dinner party and dancing at one of our favorite restaurants. Love always, Bride-to-Be”  – You might decide something in the middle works best for you.

4. My personal opinion about registries are that they’re oftened treated like a wish list or a letter to Santa.  I’m of the opinion that if people choose to buy a gift they can pick it on their own.  If someone wants to know what size sheets or what color towels work best for me, I figure that if I’ve invited them to my weding then they know me well enough to find out – even if that means asking ME. 

That said (sorry if it’s slightly off topic) – a wedding is a wedding; people will be happy and want to celebrate.  Often people express their happiness for you through gift giving.  If you would register if your event were larger, then you probably ought to register for this event. (Just don’t include the info on your invites!)

5. If you are pretty sure that a shower will be thrown, your best option is probably to tell the potential hostess (when she consults you about dates/etc) that you’d rather not have a shower, but you really appreciate her efforts.  It’s not polite to decline a party thown in your honor, so if she tells you that she really wants to through the shower I think you should encourage her to keep it small and casual.

6. I like the dress, but I agree with the PP – it was “more” than I was expecting, based on the rest of your post… if it were my choice I’d probably go with something a little more simple… But weddings are special.  You want to feel special and beautiful; and if that’s the dress that does it for you… then go for it.  But if you have a late afternoon ceremony your guests might not realize the dress code is quite that formal – so be sure to spread the news (by word of mouth) if you want your guests in semi-formal wear not sundresses.

Post # 10
1 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

1. It depends on your state and county, call to be sure

2. Yes, sending announcements is the traditional way to announce a marriage, you can also put an announcement in the local paper of both your hometowns 

3. Yes, everyone should get an invite, but it needn’t be very formal, a postcard or hand-written note is fine

4. You can, but I would warn you that with such a small wedding and sending out announcements some people will see it as a ‘gift grab’ If you do register Please remember to NEVER put registry information on invitations or announcements

5. You should remind your family that only people invited to the wedding can be invited to pre-wedding parties. I think this should take care of the situation itself. If you are having such a small wedding, there would not be many people to invite. If your mom/sister wanted to plan a small lunch with you and the few women invited to the wedding I would let them

6. I personally think this one might be a little much for dinner and dancing, but if you have your heart set on it, its fine. If not, I would maybe look for a dress that is made of a more casual fabric

Post # 11
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

GET THE DRESS!!! No matter what kind of celebration you have…you need to wear something utterly beautiful.  Sorry for the Sex and City Reference, but Carrie had a suit and got a princess dress, then switch back to the suit last minute.  Wear the dress.  Years from now you don’t want to regret not wearing it.

Post # 12
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

1. Depends on the courthouse. You might have to call a bunch. Some do them every day, some do them only once a week, some, you make an appointment. It just depends.

2. We sent announcements; it’s up to you.

3. We did; again, it’s a personal choice. We had already told them through word of mouth, but thought some of them (the moms  mainly) would want a little keepsake or something to scrap-book.

4. We did, because we had a reception later on (my in-laws threw it) and we thought if people wanted to get a gift, this would help–though gifts were not expected.

5. Just tell a few key people you don’t want the shower–people you know will take it seriously. Hopefully they will spread the news. If not, grin and bear it! 🙂

6. I freaking love that dress you posted. I hope you buy it if you haven’t yet!! You can wear WHATEVER you want. Long, short, white, colored, puffy, sleek–whatever you want!

Here, poke thru my Bio, some of the links there may help you 🙂 


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