- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
First off – sorry for such a long post 🙂
ok so… I have 4 BM’s and my sister is the Maid/Matron of Honor. I thought long and hard about choosing my BM’s because I kept going back and forth on whether to ask family or friends. In the end, I chose 2 cousins, my SIL, and my BFF!
Last night one of my cousins called my mother to tell her that she can no longer be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She said that she just cant afford it.
A little back story….. my cousin is 20 yrs old. Yes, I did take that into consideration when I asked her to be a part of our wedding. I sat her down and said that I would love for her to be a part of our day but I want to make sure she is comfortable with the fact that she would have to purchase a dress, shoes, and get her hair done. I told her that I would not be hurt if she couldn’t commit and that I understand being a Bridesmaid or Best Man can get expensive (depending on the bride, of course!) However, I found a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress that is under $150 (and dont plan to order it for another 2 months or so), told all the girls that they could pick out their own shoes as long as they were ivory (or borrow a pair from someone), and since my hairdresser is a friend she is doing all our hair for free as my wedding gift!
I haven’t asked my cousin to do much, as I just recently started planning and I feel like I am being reasonable about the costs. Also, my parents recently threw my Fiance and I an engagement bbq and when she called asking what she could bring, I just said if you would like, 2 or 3 bottles of soda would be just fine!
Now I grew up with my cousin and she is like a sister to me. She use to live with me on the weekends when we were younger, due to the jobs & hours her parents had. At this point she hasnt called me, just told my mother. I would hate for her to back out but I am a little confused and not sure what to do.
My cousin doesn’t have any bills really… which is why I was shocked she called my mother to say that she couldnt afford my wedding. Her parents pay for EVERYTHING. Her phone bill, her car insurance, they bought her a car, she doesn’t pay rent,etc… not to mention my wedding is a year a way and the only money she needs to come up with is half down for her dress (which would be like 75 bucks) Oh and btw, the last time I scheduled a day to dress shop, she text me to say that she wasn’t feeling well and couldnt make it.
Do you think she just wants out?? Should I wait for her to speak with me?? I am a little upset she would call my mother and not me to talk about this. Clearly she must be hoping my mother will relay the info (which she did, but still) I don’t feel like she should have an easy out, if that is what she is aiming for. She is an adult and I am baffled at the thought of her backing out… I thought I knew her better.
Advise ladies! Please! Thoughts??