(Closed) 1 year to the wedding, BM backing out already??

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i find it odd that her mother called and told your mother, when really she should be calling and talking to you…therefore, i think you should talk to her about the situation and try to get to the real reason that she might not want to be in the wedding and if she still wants out don’t give her a hard time about it and maybe try and involve her in the wedding in anothe way, ask her if she would rather be a reader instead or something like that…

Post # 4
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Man… our situations keep getting more and more similar! I had a bridesmaid back out 8 months before the wedding. It sucks, but in the end, things happen for a reason. I dont think that you should be hearing these things through your mom though – she should be coming to you!

Post # 6
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@msrdsx82: First off BREATH!  relax luv, you got a long way to go don’t let something like this stress you out.  I am very sorry to hear about your situation.  I had the same thing happen to me, and my wedding is a year away also. 

Sounds like Jealousy: People who are not happy and want to be married sometimes can’t handle the who wedding process. They say yes initially out of excitement, but as time goes on they can’t stand to even talk about the wedding.  They don’t wanna hurt your feelings and don’t have the heart to face u so they go to a neutral party. 

Being around someone who is a happy relationship and planning a wedding forces an  unhappy person to look at their life.  If they are miserable or Jealous.. they cannot be there for you. 

In my situation: I asked this person to step down because I couldn’t depend on them.  The constant cancelling, sending messages, bad comments and remarks.  

I know its tough but hang in there and good luck!



Post # 8
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

When it comes to finances, I will very rarely judge or ask questions just because you simply never know. Unless the person is very, very open about that stuff (and even then it’s iffy) they could be hiding debt or other large expenses. It’s such a sensitive subject.

To me, it honestly sounds like she can’t afford it and is embarrassed about it. Granted, the way she went about it is wrong, but I would send her an e-mail or call her and say that you heard she wanted to step down for financial reasons, and tell her you want her to do what makes her happy. Say you’ll be so sad not having her in the wedding, but that you understand, and as long as she’s there to celebrate, you’ll be understanding.

On another note, I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man drop out a few days before our wedding for stupid reasons, so be happy this is all happening now!

The topic ‘1 year to the wedding, BM backing out already??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors