(Closed) Cousin didn't attend my wedding..so why should I attend hers?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@sweetchiquita12:  I would do just as you said. I would reply no and not go, without making a scene about it. There’s no reason to start talking NOW about the fact that you aren’t going and your parents don’t need to know ahead of time. 

Post # 4
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

What would I do? Not go!
I think you’ve got exaclty the right plan.
Find something “conveinently conflicting” to do that weekend, before you get an official invite. Your parents really can’t argue if you booked something without an official date!
Just try to ignore her in the future and focus on more positive things!

Post # 5
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’re free to do as you wish, and only you can justify your own feelings. But an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.

Post # 7
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@sweetchiquita12:  Dude…you are missing a golden opportunity here….for one thing, if she’s honestly that awful, did you really want to see her at any of your wedding events anyway?  Second….she didn’t go to your wedding, but obviously has a huge chip on her shoulder about the whole thing, you can make her nuts, and the amazing thing is, the nicer you are about it, the crazier it will make her!!!!

You find out where that wedding is, book the biggest, most expensive suite you can find, this serves two purposes, one, you can host an after-party with your family away from her (awesome). Two, you’re taking a possible honeymoon suite off the market, the better your room is, the worse she feels(crazy awesome)…added bonus, you get the smug satisfaction of knowing your room is an amazing tribute to commercial hospitality and she’ll be fighting with the front desk for some stale chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of cheap champagne reminiscent of an unholy union between Sutter Valley & Sprite.

Next…start shopping now for the perfect, but not over the top, amazingly sophisticated outfit for this wedding, odds are good you’ll put her wedding party to shame, spend the cash to get yourself done up at a salon nearby, but certainly not where she it, after all, just because it’s HER wedding doesnt’ mean you can’t enjoy yourself, does it?

Finally…and this is important, you buy her a crystal something from Tiffany’s, I’m partial to the toasting flute set. DO NOT WRAP IT….put the notorious blue box in an open basket with a bottle of Veueve Clicquot – the yellow label non-vintage is $50…but no one knows that and they’ll freak out…..have it wrapped with plastic and a HUGE white bow..with an enormous tag with Congratulations and your names on it very clearly.

You will be the talk of the wedding, you’ll look amazing, you’ll feel amazing, everyone is going to want to be in your suite and years from now, when people have forgotten what the signature cocktails were called or what the hell they danced to for the first time YOU will be forever known as the woman who gave them something from Tiffany’s….nothing says FUCK YOU like Tiffany’s Crystal….it’s how a lady does it.


Post # 9
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would not go and that’s exactly what I plan on doing too when/if my cousin gets married.  She didn’t attend mine so I won’t be at hers.  I can be a little brat when I want to be!

Post # 10
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Nona99:  You’d better tell us the title of your book when you get it published.  Seriously brilliant! 

Post # 11
133 posts
Blushing bee


That was scarily amazing lol

Post # 13
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@Nona99:  “…a bottle of cheap champagne reminiscent of an unholy union between Sutter Valley & Sprite”

Cue water all over my keyboard. LOL

Post # 14
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sweetchiquita12:  lol, what makes you think you’re getting an invite?

Post # 15
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Atalanta:  I was kind of wondering this too lol

Do you KNOW for sure you’re going to get an invite? If she’s as miserable as she sounds, she might very well just not invite you (crisis averted IMO)…if she does, then I would personally decline but I like nona’s idea as well of course!

Post # 16
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

@Nona99:  + 1.

Nona, you are amazing.

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