(Closed) Cousin handed out save the dates at my wedding…

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
7456 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you should wait until actual invites come out before getting all worked up over it. They probably realized it was tacky so didn’t want to give you and your Darling Husband one at your own wedding and they may have just addressed your parent’s invite wrong.

Also, B lists can’t really take place with save the dates because no one is RSVPing yet so I’m not sure how you jumped to that conclusion. 

If your family is so upset about it just tell them to decline once they receive the actual invite.

Post # 32
1811 posts
Buzzing bee

What a piss poor thing to do. I have to hand it to you, bee. It would have bothered me and I would have been inclined to have my guests light them on fire with their sparklers during my exit. Bonfire!! Whoo!

On a serious note, now that what’s done is done, you are not wrong to feel irritated over this. It is, in fact, irritating. If they DO invite you, I would consider handing something out at their wedding–photos of your wedding perhaps? 🙂 And if they don’t invite you, well…no loss there. People with no clue about etiquette are more likely to be the hosts that have you stand during the ceremony, wait five hours between the ceremony and reception, and then serve appetizers only at 7 pm. Nope.

Post # 33
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

MariLPxo:  oh no I was not being sarcastic.  They give out Save-The-Date Cards at your wedding and don’t give the bride and groom one?  It def looks like a statement.

Post # 34
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, my guess would be that they (very correctly) didn’t think it was appropriate to hand you something about THEIR wedding on YOUR wedding day thus decided to skip you. I wouldn’t take it that anyone was B-listed either. They probably posted some out before Christmas and saved the rest as they anticipated that they would see a lot of their guests a few weeks later at your gathering so could save on postage. Wait it out and see how the situation plays.

Ignoring that though, how crass of them! How you can have the audacity to show up at someone elses wedding and get the ball rolling for your own is beyond me, it’s so self absorbed and kind of attention seeking. Very tacky move. Good on you for not letting it annoy you on the day! 

Post # 35
9564 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Soon2bmrs1:  whoops! Gotcha. 🙂

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