Post # 1
Hey guys. Okay here’s the situation: I told Fiance to tell me who he wanted to invite to the wedding (wedding is June 2–so only a month away), back a LOOONG time ago when I was doing invites. We did not originally plan on inviting any cousins, but my cousins got invited because I’m close to them (they can’t make it). His mom and dad are divorced, and his mom asked me to add four different cousins on her side because they were “close as kids” (*roll eyes* Fiance doesn’t even know where they live anymore and never really speaks to them). So I did, if Fiance wanted me to. One is coming, the others are not.
I didn’t even think about it–FI has two cousins on his dad’s side. The cousin’s dad was invited, and since he told FI’s dad he was bringing the youngest cousin (~7), we just gave him a guest. We didn’t invite the older cousin (~35? Married with like 2-3 kids?) because we had 117 people on a guest list for a place that fit *at the max* 110 people, we were running low on money, and in the six years Fiance & I have been together, I’ve met this cousin maybe twice. FI’s sister called me today saying that “oh well cousin’s feelings were hurt because you invited her dad but not her…”. Should I have invited said cousin? We were already on a relatively tight budget here. I feel really bad, but it’s not my actual family and I did tell him to tell me who he wanted to invite.
One last thing: wedding is in Texas, most of family (including unhappy cousin) lives in Missouri.
Post # 3
@rachie205: I know this is not the easiest thing to hear, but this is your wedding and you invite who you want to. We had a similar issue with cousins (I have 20 or so, I know geez) and we just couldn’t have them to our 60-70 person wedding. DC is really really expensive, and to have the wedding we wanted where we wanted we had to compromise. We came up with the idea of having a more low key celebration for them the next day in the form of a cookout. I know, not ideal, but there’s a huge age difference between me and the oldest, like 8 years and we’re not really close.
So stick to your guns, and don’t let this issue get blown out of proportion. This day is about you and your fiance and you sound really grounded and thoughtful!
Post # 4
I know this isn’t really the determining factor, but did older cousin invite Fiance to his wedding? I have a rather bratty cousin who I have not invited, although I have invited her parents–though really just for my dad, becuase I’m really not close with them–and I can foresee this bratty cousin pitching a fit about not being invited. To which my response will be “we don’t have the money, the space, and I wasn’t invited to yours, so why would you expect to be invited to mine?”
Post # 5
We kind of had the same issue. When we made our list, Fiance put one cousin on the list (all my cousins were invited). I didn’t know that FI’s cousin had 2 siblings (I’ve never met any of these cousins). When I found out (from FSIL) that there were siblings, we added them to the list. Fiance felt that since he hasn’t seen them in years and is not close with them, he only wanted to invite the cousin he stays in touch with. I get that, but I think if you invite one cousin, you invite them all. I do think there are definitely exceptions to that though, but in our case specifically I think it would have been rude to not invite the 2 others.