(Closed) Cousin problem..

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@rachie205:  I know this is not the easiest thing to hear, but this is your wedding and you invite who you want to. We had a similar issue with cousins (I have 20 or so, I know geez) and we just couldn’t have them to our 60-70 person wedding. DC is really really expensive, and to have the wedding we wanted where we wanted we had to compromise. We came up with the idea of having a more low key celebration for them the next day in the form of a cookout. I know, not ideal, but there’s a huge age difference between me and the oldest, like 8 years and we’re not really close.

So stick to your guns, and don’t let this issue get blown out of proportion. This day is about you and your fiance and you sound really grounded and thoughtful!

Post # 4
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know this isn’t really the determining factor, but did older cousin invite Fiance to his wedding?  I have a rather bratty cousin who I have not invited, although I have invited her parents–though really just for my dad, becuase I’m really not close with them–and I can foresee this bratty cousin pitching a fit about not being invited.  To which my response will be “we don’t have the money, the space, and I wasn’t invited to yours, so why would you expect to be invited to mine?”

Post # 5
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We kind of had the same issue. When we made our list, Fiance put one cousin on the list (all my cousins were invited). I didn’t know that FI’s cousin had 2 siblings (I’ve never met any of these cousins). When I found out (from FSIL) that there were siblings, we added them to the list. Fiance felt that since he hasn’t seen them in years and is not close with them, he only wanted to invite the cousin he stays in touch with. I get that, but I think if you invite one cousin, you invite them all. I do think there are definitely exceptions to that though, but in our case specifically I think it would have been rude to not invite the 2 others.

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