Post # 1
My first official post. I had situation pop up this week and I just knew you all would have the answer for me! First, here is a little background.
I am getting married next July in Hawaii and my FI and I really thought long and hard about our guest list and how to keep it manageable. So we drew the line with family at Aunts and Uncles. Meaning grandparents, parents, siblings, and aunts and uncles would be invited, but no cousins. This was fairly easy for us as both of us have very large spread out families and we maybe see cousins once a year at Christmas. Some of them it has been years. Save the dates were just mailed about 3 weeks ago.
Well, we just got an invitation to the wedding of one of my cousins this week. She is getting married in October about 2.5 hours from where we live, and we are available to attend.
So my question is: Do we attend the wedding, even though I will likely see others there that are also not invited to our wedding? Is it bad taste to attend? Or do I not attend since she will not be invited to ours?
Thank you Bees!
Post # 3
@KonaGirl14: Last summer we were invited to FI’s cousin’s wedding. There were probably 250 people there.
We are getting married this year, this cousin and wife are not on our guest list. Our list is only 130 people.
If you want to go to the wedding, go to the wedding. Everyone’s guests lists and budgets are different. Don’t worry about it.
DW normally have a smaller guest list. If someone asks, just say it is DW with a limited guest list.
Post # 4
@ajillity81: Thank you! So helpful!
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum
I would be a bit put oi fine I were your cousin. Perhaps have a chat with her?
Post # 7
@KonaGirl14: Is the cousin who is getting married invited to your wedding? I’d feel kind of bad about going to her wedding and not giving her an invitation to mine, IMO that’s pretty rude. I mean if you don’t feel your cousin should get an invite to your wedding why should you go to hers?
Sorry but I feel the best way to avoid drama is to stay at home. If you go to the wedding your cousin will expect an invitation to yours and you’re going to look really bad when you don’t give her one. I doubt many of your cousins will care that they aren’t invited, but not inviting your cousin to your wedding after you attended hers is the kind of thing families gossip about.
Post # 8
@KonaGirl14: you should attend.
Post # 9
Go to the wedding. No one should expect an invitation to your wedding just because you went to theirs. We invited people to ours even though we weren’t invited to their wedding because we had a much larger guest list and budget and they had smaller more intimate events.
The whole “they invited me, I need to invite them” is so silly. Everyone has a different budget and capacity at their venue. As long as you aren’t picking and choosing cousins and you are only inviting aunts and uncles it is okay for you to go to her wedding and not invite her to yours.
ETA: I would have been sad if someone turned down my invite just because they weren’t able to invite me to their wedding.
Post # 10
I would go! If anyone asks about your wedding just tell them it’s going to be a very small DW. I don’t think you have to invite people just because they invited you. Don’t skip it just because that cousin isn’t invited. I’d only skip it if you had picked and chose cousins and that one didn’t make the cut 🙂
Post # 11
Go to the wedding. And you still don’t need to invite her. Everyone will understand. Like PP said different weddings amd different budgets. I would too be crushed if someone couldn’t come to my wedding 🙁