(Closed) Cousin stealing the spotlight–I know I shouldn't feel this way but…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@twistedb:  

It’s hard to make the call without knowing either of you, but i’m actually sort of in the position of your cousin. Maybe it will help show another perspective?

My cousin booked his wedding in September and not wanting to appear like I was upstaging the couple or trying to steal their thunder, I made sure we chose a date that was after theirs. I wanted November but so many venues were booked so the date we got was in October (about a month after theirs exactly).

I had heard on the grapevine that they were going to get married at the same church that FH and I picked. We booked it anyway.. we figured we’d done enough to make sure their wedding was first and not ruffle any feathers. We couldn’t give up our dream ceremony just because they announced their choice first could we? In the end, they went with another venue (probably because neither of them are Catholic and it is a Catholic church).

Sometimes things just work out a certain way with no malice intended. I hope for your sake your cousin isn’t actually nasty like that!

Post # 18
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it is in your head. If you loved the venue, it is probably awesome and she loved it too.

Even if she said it was crazy expensive, things change when it is YOU planning your wedding. Not so long ago I could be heard saying things like “Spending THAT much money on a dress is such a waste”… but then I got engaged and my perspective changed 🙂

Post # 19
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Perhaps she and her Fiance knew they’d be getting engaged soon, so she said negative things about that venue in order to steer you away from it since she had her eye on it. Regardless, you’re not getting married on the same day or at the same place… so I’m not exactly sure what the problem is.  You’re probably thinking about this far more than she is and you’re giving her power over your emotions by putting energy into this.  Focus on your own special day and try to get to a neutral place in your mind about it all so you both can be happy for each other on your respective wedding days!

Post # 20
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

As long as your wedding is first! Since you’ll be getting married before her, the family will be more excited for yours. When her wedding comes around the following month, it’ll be like, okay we just did this…

Post # 21
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

  I don’t think you’re crazy as I also have had a family member try to do everything that I was doing bigger and better.(I’m getting married July 18th, she’s getting married august 18th).  For a while it really got to me as what I did, she copied.  A friend gave me some excellent advice to cheer me up though.  She said, “wow she must really love your ideas so much she had to copy them!”  Ever since then I’ve had a differnet POVCool

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