(Closed) Cousin stealing wedding date. What do I do?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7409 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Is it the same date exactly?  And have you officially set a date and put down deposits etc?

Post # 5
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your wedding is TWO YEARS AWAY. She isn’t stealing your date – you are just planning so far in advance that of course the most popular month is booking up.

Also, she’s following the logical, well-worn path of buying a place after being pregnant, and wanting to be married to the guy she is having a baby with. She isn’t copying you or stealing anything from you. It isn’t a unique process.

Post # 6
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Honestly, I think you need to let this go. I don’t think you can say that she’s stealing important events in your life. I don’t think she planned on getting pregnant and the house hunting and engagement are just coincidences. She is officially engaged and she wants to get married in May. You are not yet engaged (even though you say it’s a sure thing), and you’re still debating on which year to get married. Until you have a date set in stone, I don’t think you can get mad at her for wanting to get married the same month as you.

Post # 7
7409 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, then you have the opportunity to adjust your plans.  It may be annoying to you, but at least you don’t have everything booked and paid for.  I would let her set her date and then figure out if you even want to have your wedding close to hers.

Post # 8
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you have not actually decided on the date so i feel she didnt steal anything – sorry but she got in first while you were still deciding between 2013 or 2014.  

you “determined May was your ideal month” and i guess so did she.  she shouldnt be expected to put her life on hold for you

Post # 9
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. 

Very annoying tho!

How close are you two?

If you two are close, talk to her, find out the of why she is doing this.

Way too many occurrences to be just coincidence.

Has she always been so competitive with you? Or is she just going through some sort of phase?

Post # 10
869 posts
Busy bee

This is what happens when people grow up.  They get have babies, get married, buy a house.  (Not everyone, but you get what I’m saying).  You said you and your boyfriend have been “tossing around the idea of marriage” – that the engagement isn’t even official yet.  I think you should give your cousin a little slack.  If I was grumpy about all the friends/family members that chose to get married, have kids, buy a house around the same time as me – I’d be one miserable lady.  🙂

Post # 11
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@eloping:  this

You didn’t officially announce a date so she didn’t “steal” it. You can get married in the same month. If you really want to get married in May find out when she’s getting married and plan yours 2 weeks around hers. Why don’t you just get married may 2014 since you just said ’13 was unlucky?

Post # 13
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t think she’s copying you. I kind of feel like something has to be unique to be copied and getting pregnant, buying a house and getting married in May aren’t really unique, they’re things thousands of people do. Also, I don’t think she can steal a date from someone who isn’t engaged. I hope things work out and your bond grows stronger as you both plan your weddings and celebrate together! 

Post # 14
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is not stealing you wedding date.

I would let it go, OP.

Post # 15
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think that your cousin stole anything from you, and it’s slightly absurd to suggest that she got pregnant and started planning her life to imitate you. Maybe by the time your boyfriend proposes, you’ll have a new time frame for your wedding already. Please spend this energy being concerned with your life, and let her live hers.

Why did you decline her invitation to be in her wedding party?

Post # 16
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While it is a bit odd that all of these things happened at the same time I don’t think you can say that she’s stealing your wedding date.

You have not booked anything or set a date. She is not stealing your wedding date.

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