(Closed) Cousin upset that we're leaving early…[Vent]

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

@GamersBride:  She’s being unreasonable. 

She decided to have a Sunday wedding, one of the consequences of that decision is that some people may need to leave early.  The whole purpose of the day is the ceremony, and you’re driving 7 hrs round trip to be there with them for that.    

The reception is their “thank you” for attending, so if you are unable to partake fully of their “thank-you” to you, then it should be your problem and not theirs. 

Hopefully one day soon she’ll feel embarassed by her behavior, because calling you and berating you is simply inappropriate. 

Post # 4
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@GamersBride:  I would be beyond happy that you were planning on making the 3 1/2 drive both ways just to make it to my wedding for any amount of time. Not everyone has the luxury of having Monday off. The whole world doesn’t shut down because its Memorial Day. The wedding is about joining two people together (the ceremony) which you’ll be there for. It isn’t about the dancing and dinner.

Post # 5
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s very nice of you to go for what you can. Life happens, people have to work, she’ll get over it.

FWIW, I hate bouquet/garter tosses too. Your cousin will get over it.

Post # 6
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@GamersBride:  she’s being a brat. i don’t think it’s right to blame that on “stress”. i think she’s just being unfair and irrational. 

i get the reason why she’s having a memorial day weekend wedding, but there’s a number of people who still work around the holiday so she needs to get over it AND take the hit with having a wedding on a sunday – especially such a late one… jeez. 6:30? 

you are completely justified. let it go and just do what you need to do. 

Post # 7
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Holy cow!! Your cousin is delusional.. If my cousin accused me of just coming for “free food” I’d tell her to suck it. Srsly. First, why is she having her wedding on a Sunday? Why is she having it on a holiday weekend – inconveniencing her guests and relatives who’d rather do something else with their long weekend?! Why is she assuming EVERYONE has Monday off from work? Why is she acting like the reception Is more important than the ceremony that you’ll be attending? And why the hell is everything so late in the damn day! It’s Sunday for crying out loud?!

Your a saint for handling this they way you are.. But I’d seriously consider just not going at all.

Post # 8
Member
9567 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I agree with PPs, she should not be upset about this, she should be grateful! You are being very kind and going for what you can!

Post # 9
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Ugh. Hopefully it’s just the stress and she’ll get over it soon. Are you really close. Are you IN the wedding party? I imagine I’d be upset if my sister or any of my best friends did this, but that’s about it really. And they all live within 30 minutes of me.

Post # 10
Member
9257 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

What a brat. 

can your hubby sleep in the car ok? (I know it’s not as good as regular sleep.) But I might think about staying until 11 and drive home while he sleeps. Not to bow to your crazy cousin’s wishes, but just to participate more. But whatever you choose is more than enough and your cousin is cray-cray.

Post # 11
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

One of the many consequences of a sunday wedding. Leaving at 10 is pretty early, I probably wouldve stayed until at least 11 & let fi sleep in the car. But she is being incredibly rude, you can leave whenever you want. 

Post # 13
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a Sunday wedding, and granted it was not on a holiday weekend, but all my guests had gone home by 10pm.  And I expected that because I chose to have my wedding on a Sunday!  I think if she’s going to have a melt down over this, there’s nothing you can do to stop her.  I wouldn’t worry about it, personally.  She’s probably just stressing out and disappointed that you will be leaving early and expressing that as anger.  She will get over it after the wedding is done.

Post # 14
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yeah I’m hoping it’s just the pre-wedding stress then and she gets over it fast. For the record, I LOATHE the boquet toss, and if you’re engaged with a date set, why would you be there to catch it.

Post # 15
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Gah, I hate it when brides insist on doing the bouquet toss even in the face of a complete lack of interest from their guests.  But I say that as someone who’s been frantically dragged up to bouquet tosses I was intentionally avoiding… more than once, haha.

Also, the idea that weddings are in any way “free food” for guests is just ridiculous.

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