- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
OK, I might be over-reacting to this right now, but I’m two months from my wedding and done dealing with everyone’s drama (it’s been one of those engagements that’s been a battle since the ring went on) and just wanted to vent to someone who might sympathize, or tell me to get over myself. I’ve managed to ignore the annoyances for the most part, but things have kind of come to a head in the last couple days.
My fiance and I got engaged at the beginning of September in City A. I’m originally from City B (13 hours east of City A), where the majority of my family still lives. Fiance and his immediate family live in City A. We decided to have our wedding in City A.
Cousin is originally from City C (12 hours west of City A), but moved to City B. Her Boyfriend or Best Friend is also from City B.
Two weeks after we announced our engagement, Cousin and her Boyfriend or Best Friend announce their engagement and I’m happy for her, really.
We picked our venues and our caterer and announced our wedding date. We figured that since we were working on a relatively short engagement period (9 months), we wouldn’t have any conflict with whatever date Cousin might pick, which we thought would be in the year to year and a half range. Plus we were in a completely different part of the country from them.
What a surprise when Cousin sends out her STD’s announcing that they will be getting married scarcely a month after us! And not only that, but the wedding would not be in either of City B, where they both live and all of his family and most of hers live, or City C, where she is from and where her immediate family and friends live, but it will be in City A! The reason? They wanted to find a middle point between City B and City C and make everybody travel. It would be fun! Both me and my fiance were a little irked by this, but we let it go without too much more than an eye roll. At least it wasn’t before ours!
Then we started receiving phone calls from angry, upset aunts on that side of the family wanting to know if their children (the youngest one is 10, but most are late teens to early 20’s, not little kids) were invited. Of course they were. Despite our own limited venue size, family came first. Thought that was a given. Turns out that Cousin had told the families with underage kids living at home that only the older cousins were getting invitations (there are 3 of us). This would be the first wedding in the family where there were any cousins not invited (we are a relatively close extended family). Whatever, it’s her wedding. I just wasn’t really appreciating the emotional phone calls.
Fast forward a few months to now. The fathers of the brides, who are brothers, have been comparing notes. Cousin’s dad tells my dad that all the cousins are invited to Cousin’s wedding. Cousin is doing more than one round of invitations, so I figured, OK, maybe we are on a later round and haven’t gotten our yet. She sent her first round out over a month before mine invitations went out. Again, whatever. All the aunts and uncles got invitations with their children absent from the invite.
My response date for Out of Town guests has just passed. Cousin’s isn’t for another two weeks. Cousin’s dad calls my dad to find out if my parents will be attending Cousin’s wedding because if they aren’t, Cousin has someone else she wants to send an invitation to. The response date is still 2 weeks away! My dad tells him that he will come, but my mom won’t be up to making the trip again a month after my wedding, and he will catch a ride with me and my fiance to the wedding when he gets to City A… And I knew nothing about this.
Cousin happens to be on the list of those people that every bride dreads – those who don’t respond by the response date. Cousin gets a reminder email and eventually provides an ambivalent answer and ends email with “so I hear you’re coming to my wedding with your dad”. Um, what? I get on the phone with my mom to find out what is going on! She fills me in on the conversation.
I email Cousin back: we were as surprised by your email as you were to find out I was coming to your wedding. We are aware that we didn’t get an invitation and are not in the habit of crashing people’s weddings. My dad assumed we were invited.
We get an email back telling us that they have such a small venue so they were only inviting cousins that were still living at home with their parents (which excludes only 3 cousins), and it specifically wasn’t a money issue, whatever that means. Funny, that’s not what she told everyone who had cousins still living at home… My mom confirmed that my younger sister, who is still living at home, was not included on the invitation. How stupid or oblivious does she think I am!
To end a rather long-winded rant, but what really makes me see red is when there has been all these things and then she starts lying to me and people in our family thinking no one will know!!! I know this is mild as far as family wedding drama goes and I’m sure my reaction is magnified due to my own wedding bearing down on me, but my goodnes! I just needed to get that off my chest. Thank you for listening, I am done (and I apologize for the essay)