- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
OK, there’s some backstory that I’ll have to explain so bare with me here.
I have two cousins that are sisters – one, Liz, is 31 (or 32) and married for 4 years and the other, Julie, is 24 and single. Since I am 25, I’ve grown up being much closer with Julie and still am very close with her today. We both work in the same city so we frequently make an effort to meet up and hang out so that we get to see each other more than the rare 3 times a year I typically see the rest of their family (incl Liz).
So naturally I wanted Julie to be a bridesmaid bc of our genuine relationship, just not bc she’s a cousin. I wasn’t planning on asking Liz though. That said, I realize and was sensitive to the fact that they are sisters and it could totally be weird/rude to ask one sister and not the other when both are my first cousins. So before I even asked Julie, I ran the following facts by other close friends and family who all seemed to think that it shouldn’t be a big deal.
Here are the facts: Liz and I just aren’t that close (I don’t even have her phone number!!), I wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid at Her wedding 4 years ago, and my whole family knows and recognizes and me and Julie are truly the “buddies” in the family and I think they would totally get why she would be in my party and not Liz.
So all that considered, I decided to ask Julie if she wanted to be a bridesmaid and she was super excited which made me so happy. then I explained that I wasn’t planning on asking Liz and asked her if she thought that would be a problem. Her face immiately lost all energy and she basically told me that she wouldn’t feel right being a bridesmaid if Liz wasn’t and thought Liz would feel bad.
I was obviously bummed and tried to talk to her again about it the following week but she still won’t be in the party. The reason why I don’t just ask Liz too is because having a smaller bridal party is really important to me. I originally only wanted 4 or 5 max but then my fiance’s sister really wanted to be in the party so I was happy to make her my fifth. Julie would have been my 6th and I just don’t want 7.
What do you guys think?? I think it’s kind of rediculous that Liz would get upset/jelous being that she’s 32, married, knows we aren’t very close, and didn’t even have me in her wedding!