(Closed) Cousin's FI is planning on proposing with an awful ring. Should I say something?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
1553 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah…the ring sounds ugly, but those might be the components she asked for. Just stay out of it, and if it’s a problem, they will figure it out as a couple.

Post # 17
160 posts
Blushing bee

I would say something because if i was in her position I would hope my cousin would say something to my future Fiancee, i can’t imagine being stuck with that mess for the rest of my life. 

Post # 18
2318 posts
Buzzing bee


This ring probablly looks similar….it’s not so bad.  There are a lot of yellow diamonds set in rose gold out there and I think that it is lovely that he choose something so unique.  She may love it.  Give her a chance.  If she really doesnt like it that is a convo they should have privately.  It also sounds like your cousin’s Boyfriend or Best Friend is very proud of his choice, and telling him your opinion will only make him question if the ring is good enough.  It must have been nice shopping with the only concern was thinking about what you want your SO to wear for the rest of her life.  The 4C’s can be more trouble than helpful; especially if at the end of the day that is not important to you.  


Post # 19
3443 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I don’t think you should say anything. Just because it’s not to your taste doesn’t mean your cousin won’t like it. It’s not up to you to decide if she would be happy with the ring or not. They are both adults and can decide between themselves what should or should not be done about the ring if it turns out to be an issue for them.

He’s likely nervous enough about proposing as it is, no reason to make things harder or risk delaying her proposal. You also don’t know if he even has the ability to purchase an alternate ring for her. Just be happy that they love each other and want to spend their lives together.

Post # 21
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

The ring itself isn’t the worst ever. Maybe you could just suggest replacing the center stone so that it’s a more coherent piece. if he can’t afford a diamond maybe a white saphire or moissanite could work. I think in the long run he would appreciate your help if he is reasonable. 

Post # 22
1042 posts
Bumble bee

Really depends on your cousin. If it were me?  You better speak up. If it were my Fiance he’d want to have the input from people who know my tastes. BUT you say your cousin would never say something and she may be on cloud 9 with a ring that he planned.  It may not be an ascetically pleasinclude ring to the majority, but if she will love it? Then that’s all that matters.  Only you know what your cousin wants. sorry this is a tough one!  

Post # 23
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Any chance you could talk to your cousin’s mom (your aunt) about it?  She might have a better sense of your cousin’s style and what she’d want you to do in your position.

Post # 25
11651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

TheGridMonster:  lol at the 3 carat upgrade but yeah, you and PP are right. OP doesn’t know the history and would be wise to stay of it! 

Post # 26
701 posts
Busy bee

It’s not your engagement ring so it’s not your place to say whether it’s awful or not. If your cousin decides she hates it, that’s her battle to fight with her fiance, not yours.

Post # 28
2333 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

That seems a very bold ring to go ahead and buy if he had no idea of her tastes…surely he must be basing this on something

Post # 30
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh. My. That ring does sound ghastly (except for the rose gold). I would tell him your opinion and suggest he return it and pick something a little more….traditional, let’s say. That’s all you can do, the choice is up to him.

PS some women couldn’t care less about rings. Maybe your cousin is one of them.

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