(Closed) Cousin's not coming because his brother will make a scene

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Get it all out here but stay out of their family dispute.  It’s disappointing they would choose your wedding to have a falling out but honestly it was probably going to happen with whatever family event came up next.

Post # 4
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d delete all of the posts and comment something like “come on guys, this is supposed to be a happy time. I’m very happy you are all coming to celebrate with us and sorry that not all can make it” … something that reminds them that you, to, don’t think this is the time or place…

Post # 5
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d stay out of it, and not even engage on FB. It looks like the older brother is trying to stay above it, and if you can, or want to, maybe having dinner with him and his family after the wedding is a good idea.

Also, just a thought: “I have much more important things to think and worry about than some sibling spat that 5 years from now no one will care about.” I think that they may care in 5 years how one sibling handled the end of his father’s life, even if you don’t.

Post # 6
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with beachbride1216. It looks like all this is completely out of your control anyway, so it’s best to stay out of it (which is what I get the impression you want to do anyway). In a way it’s good that the people likely to cause drama aren’t going, so there’s not much to worry about on that front. It should only be an issue if you or your FI are annoyed by that, not someone else. Maybe kindly explain to your sister that your focus is understandably on other things with your wedding coming up and all you care about right now is enjoying your day and that you’d rather she remain uninvolved too. If she thinks she’s helping you out, just be clear in the nicest way possible that their Facebook conversations are not fazing you at all and that you’re actually just happy to focus on your wedding day and your own issues.

Post # 7
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

because you have nothing else to deal with with just days until your wedding?

stupid facebook!!! i agree that ignoring it is best. play the bridezilla card and demand your sister let it be too.

i am so sorry about your uncle :/

Post # 9
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would be more worried about the brother who wanted to start trouble at my wedding. What I want to know is why he thinks it would be acceptable to start trouble at your wedding? I would have a serious talk with him about the appropriateness of engaging in that kind of behavior at someone elses event.

If it were me, and I have tons of my own family drama, I would disinvite him if he was going to be so disrespectful to begin a fight with his brother.

Your day is about you and your FI, it isnt about their petty family difference. If someone would start a confrontation at your wedding it shows their disrespect for you and your day. Do you really want that kind of person at your wedding regardless of whatever else is going on.

I would have a talk and just tell him, look I have invited everyone regardless of feelings and if you cant abide by that then perhaps you should stay home instead of your brother.

Just my opinion…good luck

Post # 10
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You sound like you have the right attitude about it, and it sounds good that the brother won’t be there.  Your sister needs to butt out of it, there’s enough drama going on already, trying to manage Facebook posts isn’t going to help anything.  

 

Yikes, duking out family drama on Facebook’s such an ugly, immature way to deal with crap.  I suppose it’s too much to expect them to act like adults.

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