Post # 32
@bhamps: I am literally in the same position as you. My husband (love saying that) and I got married a month ago and my very close cousin is getting married tomorrow. When I found out it initially stung a little because I thought that it would take away from the events before our wedding and the wedding itself.
So many issues that I thought weren’t fair about sharing the lead up our weddings. My cousin was engaged to be married to two different women within 6 months of each other (one of whom was my close friend) and had booked the same venue and function room with both women. So I didn’t feel his current and second Fiance was “real” because it happened so quickly after breaking up with his last Fiance. But none-the-less.
There were times it was tough due to my cousins bachelor party and kitchen tea taking place just a week before our wedding. It was really hard going because there was so much to do for our wedding at the time and we spent some of it attending their pre wedding do’s.
BUT when all was said and done I’m happy with how it all turned out. We are married now and that is the entire reason we did this. I have the man of my dreams. It has been a time filled with happiness and joy. First our pre-wedding and wedding and now my cousins so quickly after ours. It is all been so exciting, I am so happy to be going to another wedding so soon after ours and one that I didn’t have to plan!
If you just alter your percpetive slightly you will see that this can be an extention to the joy for both your cousin and yourself in the lead up to your weddings. Enjoy and share stories of your experiences together; it might make you guys even closer.
Post # 33
I mean I guess no one else has ever had a selfish moment LOL! I have four sisters all of which are extremely close in age and we have shared EVERYTHING our entire lives. I was not expecting to share the spotlight at all. It is what it is. I am actually not a bridezilla at all I’m really laid back, just a girl with hurt feelings. I think because me and my cousin have been so close our entire lives I just felt like he was trying to one up me. Obviously that is not rational, he is just trying to get married too. I am over it he and I had a nice civil conversation on the phone and agreed to both let it all go and enjoy ourselves in the upcoming months leading to both our weddings.
Thanks for your post and advice! I agree with you completely it did sting a little but now it’s time to move on and enjoy myself! I’m not going to let this come between my family or impede on my wedding. 🙂
Post # 34
@bhamps: I’d just like to chime in and say that I understand how you feel and even though it’s dramatic of both of us to be upset about it, it’s a very really feeling. My Fiance and I also set a long engagement, and his cousin got engaged about 5 days after us. Even though they didn’t set their wedding date anywhere near ours, no one in his family even acknowledged our engagement because they were so caught up in the cousin’s wedding that was happening first. They actually completely ignored us–no congratulations, and they told us they had no interest in helping with anything with the wedding until after the other wedding (which just happened about a month ago). His parents were awful about our engagement in general haha, but for a while I had this fear that someone else in his family would get engaged/married/pregnant right before our wedding and we’d have this drama of being ignored all over again. I wish I knew how to make you feel okay about it, but giving it some time really helped for us. If there are people in your families who have been involved in any wedding planning with you and your Fiance, I would make sure to keep including them and bringing up wedding details when appropriate (not obsessively but enough to remind them that your wedding is happening and it’s important). When you’re feeling down about it, talk to your Fiance about it and let him comfort you, but don’t bring it up with any of your other family members—just keep good etiquette about the whole situation and you will come off as the bigger person. If you are planning to send out save-the-dates soon, getting those ready may make you feel better! Good luck with all of this!