(Closed) cousins wedding before mine and MY father is giving her away…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Anthony’s Fine Dining

Imitation is the highest form of flattery…as annoying as it may be.  Take the ring as a compliment.  And no, I don’t think you’re wrong for feeling disappointed.  I would probably feel the same way.  Maybe talk to your dad about it?

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

She is definitely not taking anything away from you…your dad is doing this for his brother, really, not for her. It’s not like they are close, so it won’t be anything like giving YOU away. You are his daughter! Nothing can change that. I’m glad you realize what you’re saying sounds bad/selfish, but I can totally understand feeling that way, yet still rationalizing that you shouldn’t! I would just NOT go to her wedding. And if she doesn’t get things finalized asap, tell her it’s unreasonable to expect to go if she hasn’t set things in stone bcause traveling is involved!

What’s your e-ring look like? I dug through your posts–you have a halo micropave? While it may be a copy of your ring, that’s a super popular style…maybe she just didn’t like the e-ring she had and happened to get a similiar style?

At least you guys aren’t close–then it’s like a distant friend, right? If you guys were closer, I could see letting it get to you more.

Deep breath, glass of wine!

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

The dad thing would bug me. My brother’s fiance asked my mom to take her wedding dress shopping because she didn’t want to go with her her own mother and it REALLY bothered me because I was engaged and it seemed like something she should do with me first. But, she went and really I’m over it. It happened, it wasn’t a huge deal, and now its over.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree, it sounds irresponsible, but maybe she traded in her ring or something. Her 3 stones may have been worth enough to trade in for a micropave setting (although not a Hearts on Fire!) but maybe so with a less expensive jeweler. I know at Shane Co, I looked at paves and they were only like $900 for the setting.

Just look at it this way–ocne it’s done, it’s done. Then she’s married and stuck and hopefully they can get over the bumps with money it sounds like they may be having. Then you’ll have your wedding to deal with.

Post # 11
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am getting married in June and I am just now deciding on men’s attire, etc.  We just decided on the actual wedding time last night.  So there may be a chance she doesn’t have a lot of details to share yet. 

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I definitely think your grams should keep her mouth shut. I’m not surprised your cousin is acting weird, then…

Post # 14
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am so sorry. i know what the feels like. well in a way. my brother in law is getting married before us and when we are at family gatherings they all want to talk about his their wedding and then they leave they ask about ours. its so hard to still positive when you dont want to give details about your wedding. not that they will copy you but you want people to be surprised and not say well i knew they were going to have that and this. so i understand. i love this website. we can vent about anything. i hope you feel better after venting about this

Post # 15
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I completely understand and I know how you feel, and I also know this from experience: NONE of these things truly matter.  You are spending time thinking and worrying about these negative things when you could be thinking about things that make you happy!  🙂  When I get uptight about things like this (and this is super cheesy but it calms me down a ton) I imagine standing by a river and watching all of these issues, i.e., the ring, the cousin, etc., floating down the river and out of sight.  This allows me to acknowlege the issue and LET IT GO.  You can do it, you will save yourself tons of grief!  Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Maybe you should just not attend the wedding. It’s not fair for you to begrudge your dad giving her away since it was his deceased brother’s request. The other stuff may sound fishy, but hey, you never know. If you don’t go and see it, then maybe it won’t bother you so much. Especially with so little time until your wedding – you won’t have time to think about it.

The topic ‘cousins wedding before mine and MY father is giving her away…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors