Post # 1
I live in the South/Bible Belt, and I had never heard this term until I came to the Bee. I am just curious to see where this is common. I should probably also add that while I have been to some very, very nice weddings, I don’t think any have been anywhere near 6 figure affairs. Again, things are cheaper down here.
I am not saying it’s right or wrong, I am just wondering if cover your plate is common in your area?
Post # 2
Midwest here, I’ve never heard of it either.
Post # 2
Mrs.Sawyertobe: I’ve lived in the South, the West, and the Midwest and have never heard this term before I read it today.
Post # 4
I’m in New Jersey and hadn’t heard of it until weddingbee. I’m also young and broke, as are my friends, so this expectation isn’t there in our crowd at all.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
Mrs.Sawyertobe: I come from Canada and never really heard of this except for at maybe Greek/Jewish/Italian/Chinese/Indian receptions (none of which I have personally gone to)
Post # 6
NYC – I’ve heard of it, but don’t consider it a rule.
Post # 7
I’ve always tried to follow the “cover your plate” rule.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
Mrs.Sawyertobe: I’m in ontario and while I know of the concpt, it’s absurd.
If a couple wants to have a super fancy, ornate wedding that’s their choice. It’s not my responsibility to reimburse them for their choices.
I always give monetary gifts (except when there’s a honeyfund – then I go boxed) and the amount is based on how close I am with the couple and my current financial standing.
I’m not going to put myself into the poor house because a couple chose to have their wedding at the Trump.
If you only want me to come so you can get money from me, don’t invite me. Clearly sharing you day with me isn’t that important if all you want me to do is open my wallet to pay for your party.
Post # 9
First I heard if it was on WB. Seems like it is common in the NE part of the country, and then in only certain circles. I’m also from the South, this is definitely not the norm here.
Post # 10
It’s very common/the norm in my circle to cover your plate. This does not mean someone is uninvited if they can’t afford the cost. This does not mean you call and ask the price of the plate. It simply means that if you’re going to a fancy dinner where your entrees are filet mignon and lobster, you can assume it’s a pricey affair.
On top of covering my plate, Darling Husband and I give a gift on top of it. So if I estimate a nice steak dinner for Darling Husband and I at a nice restaurant would cost us $100, we give $100 to cover our plates, plus our gift, meaning at least $200 total, depending on how close I am to the couple, expenses incurred to get to the event, and my financial circumstances at the time.
ETA: New England born and bred!
Post # 11
While I have heard of it, my wedding gift is based on our relationship – not how much dinner cost.
Post # 12
GreenBayBee: same here! it’s very common among our circles…
Post # 13
Mrs.Sawyertobe: Pacific Northwest. Never heard of it before the Bee. I don’t expect it either.
Post # 14
Mrs.Sawyertobe: haha I just posted about this. I never heard of it till the bee and consider it completely tacky for a host to dare expect or “enforce” such a thing.
I don’t think it’s your guests problem or business to know how much you spent on the wedding. I am also from Bible Belt and most people do registry, money is only from immediate family.
Post # 15
I hadn’t heard of it. It doesn’t make sense to me because it’s still expected for the parents to pay for the wedding so the bride and groom aren’t incurring any cost or being repayed. It’s also very common to have 300-500 guests invited for the wedding. We got several cash gifts of $1,000 and several cash gifts of $10. I didn’t matter to us either way, we weren’t paying for it so it’s not like we were trying to get paid back, but it was about $40 plate with open bar.