(Closed) Cover your plate

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Hostess
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Midwest here, I’ve never heard of it either.

Post # 2
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  I’ve lived in the South, the West, and the Midwest and have never heard this term before I read it today.

Post # 4
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m in New Jersey and hadn’t heard of it until weddingbee. I’m also young and broke, as are my friends, so this expectation isn’t there in our crowd at all.

Post # 5
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  I come from Canada and never really heard of this except for at maybe Greek/Jewish/Italian/Chinese/Indian receptions (none of which I have personally gone to)

Post # 6
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

NYC – I’ve heard of it, but don’t consider it a rule.

Post # 7
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

I’ve always tried to follow the “cover your plate” rule.

Post # 8
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  I’m in ontario and while I know of the concpt, it’s absurd.

If a couple wants to have a super fancy, ornate wedding that’s their choice.  It’s not my responsibility to reimburse them for their choices.

I always give monetary gifts (except when there’s a honeyfund – then I go boxed) and the amount is based on how close I am with the couple and my current financial standing.

I’m not going to put myself into the poor house because a couple chose to have their wedding at the Trump.  

If you only want me to come so you can get money from me, don’t invite me.  Clearly sharing you day with me isn’t that important if all you want me to do is open my wallet to pay for your party.

Post # 9
Member
5219 posts
Bee Keeper

First I heard if it was on WB. Seems like it is common in the NE part of the country, and then in only certain circles. I’m also from the South, this is definitely not the norm here. 

Post # 10
Member
13679 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s very common/the norm in my circle to cover your plate.  This does not mean someone is uninvited if they can’t afford the cost.  This does not mean you call and ask the price of the plate.  It simply means that if you’re going to a fancy dinner where your entrees are filet mignon and lobster, you can assume it’s a pricey affair.

On top of covering my plate, Darling Husband and I give a gift on top of it.  So if I estimate a nice steak dinner for Darling Husband and I at a nice restaurant would cost us $100, we give $100 to cover our plates, plus our gift, meaning at least $200 total, depending on how close I am to the couple, expenses incurred to get to the event, and my financial circumstances at the time.

ETA: New England born and bred!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  JiminyCricket.
Post # 11
Member
7821 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

While I have heard of it, my wedding gift is based on our relationship – not how much dinner cost.

Post # 12
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

GreenBayBee:  same here! it’s very common among our circles…

Post # 13
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  Pacific Northwest. Never heard of it before the Bee. I don’t expect it either.

Post # 14
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  haha I just posted about this. I never heard of it till the bee and consider it completely tacky for a host to dare expect or “enforce” such a thing. 

I don’t think it’s your guests problem or business to know how much you spent on the wedding. I am also from Bible Belt and most people do registry, money is only from immediate family. 

Post # 15
Member
3276 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I hadn’t heard of it. It doesn’t make sense to me because it’s still expected for the parents to pay for the wedding so the bride and groom aren’t incurring any cost or being repayed. It’s also very common to have 300-500 guests invited for the wedding. We got several cash gifts of $1,000 and several cash gifts of $10. I didn’t matter to us either way, we weren’t paying for it so it’s not like we were trying to get paid back, but it was about $40 plate with open bar. 

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