(Closed) Cover your plate

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 181
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  But so what? I almost want to ask if you’d be jealous of this couple? Also, so what if the parents paid and you’d technically be paying for dinner that THEY bought you? Is that not very nice and supportive of you? Let’s face it, drinks alone at an open bar can cost the hosts OVER 50 bucks a head. 

Now I feel really guilty because I ate a whole bag of chips chatting with you ladies, so going to work out, now!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  GreenBayBee.
Post # 182
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

MrsBuesleBee:  Not understanding you at all, and read again. I said a handmade quilt is LOVELY because of the sentiment and effort it takes. 50 bucks for a 100 dollar a head dinner is not, IF you can afford more. IF YOU CAN AFFORD MORE!! That’s what I said, that’s what I believe and that’s all, folks!

Post # 184
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

GreenBayBee:  “And no, 50 bucks at a 100 dollar a plate wedding is not a gift.”

What??  I’m very confused about a “gift” is no longer considered a “gift” if it’s not a high enough monetary value.  I classify anything I give to someone with the expectation of nothing in return a “gift”.  I’m very intrigued to hear your reasoning for why, as an example, the $50 check that ‘Sara’ includes with her card to ‘Couple Smith’ is considered a “gift” if the food was $45/plate but not if it was $55/plate (from how I’m understanding).  How is Sara to know the cost of the plate exactly?  Would it be a “gift” if it was a $50 check at a $50/plate wedding, or only if it was a $51 check at a $50/plate wedding?  What about all the other expenses that go into the guest’s experience that aren’t included in that plate amount – the DJ, transportation to and from the hotel, the tip for the wait staff and bartenders, the cake?

Post # 185
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

JiminyCricket:  People have been explained this time and time again but they still choose to believe its rude, teacky blah whatever.. I have to move on with my life at this point because it seems bees are stuck on the fact that anyone even suggesting you give a gift is rude ..

it’s a wedding.. it costs tons of money.. if you care about someone I don’t see whyt youd be offended by giving them a monetary gift..

give the damn couple  the best gift you can afford, and if you care enough to buy the cheapest thing on the registry just becaue “it’s not your problem how much they spent” don’t go!

*END SCENE*

Post # 188
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

JiminyCricket:  Please don’t add me to “you all”, thank you very much. I commented twice. Once to say I’ve never heard of it and the other time to say, wow, this turned in to quite the thread. I was nowhere near race or etiquette so don’t go putting words in my mouth.

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  Oh my goody goodness!!

Post # 189
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Can I just ask – those who have so much trouble wrapping their mind around calculating how much to pay per plate, how do you calculate how expensive of a gift to buy from a registry?   For those who say “whatever you are comfortable gifting”, if say you are comfortable with your job and maybe paid off your mortgage early or whatever – and had $1000 that could easily part with… would you gift that much?  I doubt it – pay for your plate involves the same calculation as the amount you plan on spending on a registry… about how much in your circle is considered the norm.   In pay per plate circles – you just think of that money as a means to pay for your seat at the wedding – rather than just a gift for the bride and groom.  For some reason it seems like the pay per plate logic occurs in more expensive areas of the country – so possibly because guests are concerned for the bride and groom’s finances that’s the way they would like to think of their gift rather than a useless toaster that ends up in the closet.  

Post # 190
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

brew_bee:  Ok, I couldn’t take it. You are invited to a birthday party at the Keg. Do you bring 5 bucks with you or 50? you bring 50 or more plus a birthday gift, right? same goes for a wedding!

 

Post # 192
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  it’s 2014…

maybe those in your circle are fortunate enough to have parent contribute but for me, the last 4 weddings I went to were paid for mostly by the couple… For me my parents are both deceased and my FI’s parent will attend just like everyone else.. no moneraty donations..

I feel like ven if parents did pay for the wedding is it so wrong for people to come out of their wedding on top financially? To start a life together?

If you suggest you gift adds up to the amount or more of the plate then what is so “bizarre”? I’ll wait….

We are obviously going around in circles but if you are now saying that you do follow that rule but instead of cash you just have to use the registry then tomato, tamata!

Post # 193
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee

MeandMyLouboutins:  HAHAH! << drops mike and walks away>> perfectly put, miss! Couldn’t agree more!

Post # 194
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

GreenBayBee:  I guess I come from a culture where a hosted event is just that – hosted.  You bring a gift if you’re feeling extra polite (but this doesn’t usually happen amongst my group of friends – ranging in age from early 20s to early 40s) but the host, who’s HOSTING, is responsible for food and drinks unless it’s specified to BYOB or to bring a dish to share.

For my birthday a few weeks back we spent a couple hundred dollars on kegs and food and told people to just bring a small snack to share.  The most expensive thing someone brought was probably $10 at most, and our friends all definitely ate and drank more than $10 each.  But that’s the point of hosting an event, no?

What you’re referring to is quite different in my mind than a hosted event – you’re referring to a group of friends getting together with no host and instead all paying their own way.

Just differences in experiences I suppose!

Post # 195
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  What about the last wedding which was for one of your friends?  How did you base your calculation?

The topic ‘Cover your plate’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors