COVID-19, death, loss, engagement…

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

View original reply
daxsymbiote :  oh bee (hugs). I am so sorry for all this. you are so entitled to your feelings; you carry so much and tomorrow is always unknown. (hugs).

Post # 3
Member
2988 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
daxsymbiote :  I’m so sorry about your loss. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be about not being able to be there for the services and everything. It really is a shame that there are people out there who don’t understand how serious this virus is. 

Congrats on the engagement! I would consider you engaged already and you have that to look forward to once this all ends. Looking forward to an engagement/wedding hopefully will ease your stress a little and give you something to look forward to 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

Gosh, you’ve been through the worst week. I’m so sorry for your loss. Everything you’re feeling is completely reasonable considering what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry you’ve been robbed of a close family member, your job, and the joy of engagement. I’m sorry that through your suffering you still have to endure people who just don’t get it and are making the problem worse. This tragedy hit you like a train. The suddeness and unexpectedness is of it all is incredible. 

I’m so glad you have your loving fiance there to support you. He sounds like a good one. My hope is for you that you will stay healthy and one day, however far away, you can finally experience the joy of reuniting with loved ones and celebrating your engagement. It’s okay that you can’t think about celebration now. That will come with time and healing. ❤︎❤︎❤︎

Post # 5
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee

We’re all spectators until it becomes personal. I’m so sorry for your loss, Bee. You have every right to be sad, frustrated, unsure, and angry. 

Post # 8
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Oh Bee, I’m so sorry.

You’re allowed to feel your grief in any way you need to – it’s completely “normal” to not feel normal at all. 

When it comes to the loss of a close family member, all I can say is, no you probably won’t ever feel the way you did three weeks ago. But, with the support it looks like you have with your SO, you will be able to re-build. A new “normal” so to speak.

You are allowed to mourn that loss, as you would any other loss.

Give yourself permission to be upset, angry, terrified. Don’t ever marginalise your pain just because you want to be better. Pain is pain.

Allow yourself to feel it, then maybe you can take the steps to move forward. Maybe get excited about that engagement again and maybe someday associate it with the joy of the next step, rather than the sadness of this tragedy. Understand that the people you lose in life walk beside you if you let them, even as you have those big life moments. 

And as for COVID…it will likely get worse before it gets better and depending where you are in the world that could be devastating. But, like all things, it too shall pass eventually.

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. 

Post # 9
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m so sorry. There is so much going on for you and I’m sure so many feelings. My mom recently–not from Covid, but she died right as it started hitting the US. That was upsetting enough, but then this pandemic hit and things are just really awful right now. My only advice is to be gentle with yourself. It is ok to feel whatever you are feeling because there is so much going on. 

Post # 10
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m so sorry bee. Coming from someone who has suddenly and traumatically lost an immediate family member, I feel for you. You are 100% right that things won’t go back to “normal” ever again, you’ll never be the person you were before. But slowly with time you will develop a new normal, become a new family unit. At only one week in, it is still such a whirlwind of emotions and like a haze almost, life seems to stand still. I can’t even imagine not being able to be with family during a time like that and my heart breaks for you.

I’m so happy your fiance is there for you for this – my husband (then boyfriend) really stepped up and supported me big time when my sister died and that’s actually the point I realized I wanted to marry him. If you want to keep the proposal on the down low for a few months until your family can start to grieve, that is totally okay. It is also okay to be happy and be excited to share that joy – your family member (parent or sibling I assume?) would want you to be happy. That’s always a hard one to think about, but as you live your life think about what they would want for you. 

There isn’t much any of us can say right now that can help you, other than it takes time. You will evolve into a new person with a much different outlook on life and as a new family. It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to be angry, and it’s okay to be happy and experience joy. For me, I’ve just tried to live my life in my sisters honor and make sure I cherish every moment. I was the youngest but I’m older than her now, and I try to remind myself I am living and experiencing milestones she never got to achieve and I need to be grateful of every moment and every person. Hugs. 

Post # 11
Member
5197 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
daxsymbiote :  I’m sorry you’re hurting. The feelings you’re having are totally understandable; losing your job and a family member at the same time is very traumatic. The bright spot is your fiance’s attitude about how you can’t wait for the perfect time because you never know. This reflects a high level of maturity and an ability to learn from disappointment, so take comfort in the fact that you picked a good man. And in these times we have to take comfort where we can find it.

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee

First off, congratulations on your engagement!

I’m so sorry for your loss – a difficult time when you should be with family and it’s heartbreaking. You are allowed to be pissed off. I know I’m pissed off that some idiots are still not taking this serious, I’m pissed off that this is our new normal and I’m really pissed off that our administration called it fake and didn’t take action soon enough.

 

Post # 13
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

Gosh bee I am so sorry this happened. I can’t imagine the anguish you are experiencing.

Like others have said fortunately you have a wonderful and supportive man (now fiancé!!!) to be there for you right now. You are seeing his true colors and it is clear that you are with a wonderful person who will be there for you in your darkest hour. That is priceless. 

There will come a time where you will be excited to tell your friends and family your news. It will never be the same as you’d imagined it and it won’t be the same without your loved one but eventually you will be able to celebrate. 

Again I’m so sorry and hope you find as much comfort as you can right now

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors