Covid19 version: Can't afford to go to friend's 30th… what to do?

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
1589 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not in SA but I’m guessing they’re a bit behind where Europe and the U.S./Canada are with regard to canceling everything. 10 days ago in the U.S. things were much the same – a lot of stuff was getting canceled and a lot of people were worried, but a lot of other people were continuing to live their lives as normal. Now everything is different. Even the right wing extremist pundits like Hannity have changed their tune and stopped calling it a democratic hoax/hysteria.

I would stand firm with your friend about not attending. As you acknowledged, it’s not just your own health that’s on the line but more importantly, those of older people and people with underyling medical conditions. What if you are unknowingly infected and infect other people? Traveling on airplanes and buses, going to a party – it’s just not worth it imo. Hopefully your friend will come to her senses very soon as public opinion shifts in SA the way it has in many other regions.

Post # 3
4904 posts
Honey bee

The fact that your friend is even still considering holding this event tells me she’s selfish and inconsiderate and quite possibly brainless. 

Cancel your travel plans and don’t give it a second thought.

Post # 4
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

A 30th birthday is the definition of non-essential travel. I absolutely would not go, and I think your friend is unbelievably selfish for continuing with her party and risking the lives of her parents and other vulnerable people, not to mention the South African economy that is balancing on a knife edge right now. A big disaster will bankrupt your country. Do what you can to lessen to load on your healthcare system and do not contribute to spreading this disease around. 
Celebrate with your friend once we’ve all gotten through this. 

Post # 5
4166 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

As a health care worker herself, your friend should know better.

I think even your compromise is pushing it. World leaders have stressed to avoid “unnecessary travel” at this time. This is considered just that.

I Wouldn’t go, and if my friend didn’t understand the reasons why she would no longer be my friend. Not worth it to risk your life and the lives of those you care about who are more vulnerable for a super risky birthday party. Your friend is being ridiculously selfish. 

Post # 6
2391 posts
Buzzing bee

What to do?  Why is this even a question??? DON’T GO!

Your friend is a selfish idiot, and it’s terrifying that she is a doctor.

Post # 8
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
timonandpumba :  get a voucher, no traveling 

Post # 9
7331 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
timonandpumba :  I didn’t even read the entire post. Traveling for this would be irresponsible. Your friend continuing to host an in-person party is irresponsible. My local friends and I had happy hour on Zoom yesterday. Choose the safe route. 

Post # 10
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

Focusing on a birthday at a time like this is incredibly selfish. I had mine a few days ago and it looked nothing like a typical birthday but sacrifices have to be made. 

My family are all cancelling their flights out to see my first baby being born. They are sacrificing getting to hold their first grandson until we know more of what’s going on. 

There are Bees who have cancelled their weddings. 

Your friend sounds incredibly selfish. 

Post # 11
13050 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Your friend is a self-absorbed and dangerous moron. That’s 240 confirmed cases and many multiples of that walking around as carriers or with mild cases. It would be very irresponsible to travel for all but the most essential of reasons right now. Airplanes are petri dishes.

I agree that this should not even be a question. DO NOT put yourself or your vulnerable parents at risk or compromise with her in any way. If she’s mad at you, I’d have no more place for her in my life. 

Post # 12
1126 posts
Bumble bee

I work for a very large group of physicians. Some are staying home and doing video visits with patients, and some are choosing to keep seeing patients in-office, while taking extra precaution. Not one of my physicians is taking this lightly. Even though your friend is in the now minority “this whole thing is being blown out of proportion” camp, she should respect your concerns about putting anyone at risk, and certainly shouldn’t shame anyone. She should also respect that otherwise healthy people have been placed on ventilators after contracting the virus. This isn’t your common cold. 

Post # 13
1374 posts
Bumble bee

She is putting her own want of being entertained on her birthday ahead of her friend’s health, the well being of that friend’s parents, not to mention her own mother’s, who is a high risk diabetic?? You friend is a self absorbed idiot.

Don’t you dare feel an instant of guilt Bee. Who gives a damn that she is ” Not happy about it”? You stay home and look after yourself and those you love.

Post # 14
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I’m not in SA but I have close SA friends that can’t believe how relaxed people are being over there. Learn from Italy. Take this stuff seriously.

Post # 15
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
timonandpumba :  Don’t go. Just because someone wants to have a party, doesn’t mean you should give in. 

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