(Closed) Coworker Added a +1- How to Handle?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would address it and let her know that you don’t have the space and that you have to be fair to everyone else from work who didn’t get a +1.  I know etiquette says that the FI/spouse should be invited, but, personally, I think there is wiggle room with co-workers. It’s nice if you have the room, but you usually don’t know the person’s spouse, they usually don’t know the other co-workers, etc. Personally, I would not be offended if a co-worker invited me without Fiance, and I wouldn’t really want to attend one of his co-worker’s weddings either.

Post # 4
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think that since you were upfront with your employees from the beginning about them going together as a group, and not bringing a plus one, you should gently talk to coworkers 1 and 2 who seemed to forget, and remind them.  I really think you went about this the right way, even though the normal etiquette is to allow a fiance or husband go.  Since your employees are close, and you made sure they were comfortable going as a group, then that should not be a problem. Also, if you did let coworker 2 bring her husband, that could cause some real drama amongst your other employees.  You are worried about playing favorites, right?    

Post # 5
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is only polite to contact her as soon as possible and explain that you are not able to accomodate her Fiance.

Post # 6
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would just call her up and give it to her straight. say listen I wanted to invite everyone from work, but I literally have NO ROOM for spouses, so it was either invite no one or invite everyone minus their spouses. I’m sorry if this offends you, and hopefully you can see where I am coming from. Hope to see you their, minus fiance!

Post # 8
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yes, you shoudl contact coworker #2, although some may say it would go against etiquette to not invite her Fiance (not to be taken as criticism) it is unfortunate that she does not know how to read an invitation. It did not have his name or and guest. 

The dynamic between a group of coworkers is different then a group of coworkers plus their SO’s. I don’t blame you for not having them bring guests and I think they will have far more fun as a group without worrying about someone who “doesn’t know anyone there”. I would talk to her and explain that to keep the guest count to the allotted space you had purposely decided not to have coworkers bring guests (and how much more fun they will have as a girl’s night out)

Hopefully she will understand from one bride to another, even if it’s maybe not what she would personally do. 

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