(Closed) Coworker attacking my "childlike body" and making me feel worse about PCOS

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh my god, go to HR on that woman now! Talk about obscenely inappropriate!

Post # 3
3037 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I would complain to HR. Or the coworker yourself. That is harassment. 

Post # 4
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

CharleighT:  first of all, I’m so sorry for your health problems. I can’t imagine what you’re going thru, so I won’t insult you with crappy advice on that. It seems you’re doing everything right.

As far as this coworker, you need to file a complaint with HR. What she is doing is wrong and has no place in a professional atmosphere. Talking behind your back, discussing your private health and spreading rumors has got to be against company policy. 

Family; smile and say, “My reproduction choices and situation are mine and my husband’s business. When/if we have anything to tell you, we will. Until then, please stop asking about my uterus. Its uncomfortable.”

The thing is, anyone who has the balls to talk about your body/choices, deserves that crap right back. I can’t stand people who are mean under the guise of “that’s just how I am” or “I was only kidding.” Stand up for yourself girl! Be calm and direct. Let people know what you will and won’t tolerate. 

Post # 5
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: TBD

Your coworker sucks. Go to HR and try to not let it bother you. I know that’s easier said than done. I delt with a similar situation so I feel you. Just hold your head high. All bodies are beautiful. We are all different. We all have different bodies, that’s just how it is. Instead of focusing on your lack of curves, focus on all the amazing things your body can do like hike and swim and walk. It can make a world of difference. 

Post # 6
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

that woman’s an absolute asshole and you should tell HR or stand up to her yourself. tell her you appreciate her comments but they are completely unnecessary and she should mind her own business. you are here to work, not to be friends. be completely direct. or…. go to HR. haha.

and i’m sending you virtual hugs! i’m sorry for all you’ve been through. i’m 5’3.5 and around 121 so i definitely don’t have a childlike frame. however, to my traditional asian family i’m HUGE. so i do get annoying comments as well. hang in there! 

Post # 7
180 posts
Blushing bee

CharleighT:  I feel for you, former eating disorder, at 5’4” about 108 lbs and I’m close to 30 years old.  People at work say rude things, obviously not knowing what I’ve been through in my life.  It’s very hard to do at times but we must remember that these people make comments like that out of their own insecurity.  I can’t tell you how many times someone has seen me with a salad or something that I have cooked from scratch (it really is amazing how much you can learn to love food and preparing it!) and then proceeded to make rude comments about needing to go get a cheeseburger or how many people try to be nosey and see what my biometric screening results are for our health program.  Everyone has their own struggles and the people who make comments just have no idea how to deal with their own problems, nor can they possibly comprehend what you’ve been through.

I also agree with you about the fuck the skinny bitches and other body shaming comments that are growing increasingly popular.  It’s crazy because people don’t think being skinny can be a problem (or byproduct of a problem or lifestyle) and therefore think its okay to make comments about it.  I wouldn’t dream of walking up to an obsese coworker eating McDonald’s and saying “God go eat a salad you fatty!,” but them saying “God go eat a cheeseburger you twig” is okay?!?

The important thing is to be happy with where you are now, and if possible to try empathize with that person and her insecurities.  Congratulations on your healthy life, that is what matters most!

Of course, if she doesn’t stop bothering you or does try to report you to HR and create drama and problems for you, you are certainly right to stand up for yourself, even if it means going to HR yourself first to head her off.

Post # 8
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That woman you work with…my god.  You are so strong for not knocking her out already!!!!!!!  I definitely agree with PP, report her to HR.  Even if they don’t do anything about it yet, at least it’s on record.  Perhaps others have already made complaints about her, and yours may be the last straw…you never know.

I’m sorry you have to deal with her on top of your health issues and the family making comments about you being pregnant.  I’ve been struggling with infertility for 3 years now, and it hurts when people ask when we’re going to have kids.  I want to scream out every time ‘WE’RE F*CKING TRYING!!!!!!!!!” but obviousyl I can’t.  We just smile and say “soon…!”  Good luck hun!

Post # 9
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Relax, she’s probably jealous… If you are happy wiith how you look, and is healthy, does it matter what other people say? I’m 5’6, 110lbs, and I love it. I think I look good thin, some might not agree, so I don’t give a damn about what other people think…

Post # 10
12253 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015


body commentary and medical diagnosis made by anyone other than the persons doctor are rude and inappropriate. I’ve noticed that gossip mangers love to play doctor. 

i think you should be prepared to confront her next time, and in front of everyone tell her that it is inappropriate for her to discuss your weight and or medical status ( and her beliefs about such) with the office of your coworkers. Tell her she is not your doctor, and its your understanding that doctors like to see a patients chart and have the facts before diagnosing, so it’s unclear why she is gossiping about something she knows nothing about. 


Post # 11
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I agree with the others – what that woman is saying is extremely unprofessional and she should be reported.  As for the family, could you ask your husband to maybe tell them in private that you’re not ready to start a family, but that it’s a sensitive subject and please not to bring it up?  I’m sure they didn’t mean to hurt you, and that way they’ll know to STFU.  I’m really sorry you’re feeling badly about all of this.  *Virtual hugs!*

azzie17:  Uh if you read the post, she’s NOT happy with how she looks because of her medical condition.  Sheesh.  Reading comprehension.  Get some.

Post # 12
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

CharleighT:   some people just are sooooooo rude… I am struggling with my body. I am size 4 and my mother constatly tells me I am fat (I used to be size 2). The worst part is that I was OK with myself before she started making comments, now I constatly feel fat & try to diet. I think it is insane, I am HEALTHY! I AM SIZE 4! I am not obese, please leave me alone and do not make me feel bad…. <br />As for the baby comments I cant even imagien how much it must hurt…. I think you should reply in a way that will make them feel uncomfortable… Thank you for bringing up jmy infertility issues and making me feel less of a woman. Shame on these people!!

Post # 13
2092 posts
Buzzing bee

I would report her to HR for harassment, or at the very least slander. Telling co-workers that you are anorexic is not okay, and neither are her unwanted and unsolicited comments about your body. It’s not something you should just deal with.

She needs to understand that other people’s bodies are none of her business. Maybe a talking to from HR will get that through to her

Edited to add- I am not thin but I have PCOS which makes it difficult to lose weight and I get the comments from the other side of the spectrum. All I have to do is eat less and exercise more! Moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips! Have I ever considered what my weight is doing to my health? Don’t I want to be around to see my non existent kids grow up?

You can’t win either way. 

Post # 14
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

lolot:  Uh, its the post was like, 6 paragraphs long. My bad if I missed out on some points, just wanted to give the OP a boost… either way, mind your own business…

Post # 15
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Im not quite as short as you, but I have always been very thin (5’7″ and 115lbs) In high school people used to call me anorexic & too skinny but its gotten a lot better since then. apparently some adults have more tack then teenagers…BUT, I still get the odd comment. I used to work with a woman who would comment on my body ALL. THE. TIME. I finally told her that it made me very uncomfortable, I don’t go up to people who are overweight and say “God you are so fat” so why in the world does someone think its ok for them to come up to me and say “you are so skinny, you must not eat!” well, I do eat. Its never appropriate to comment on someones body! I think you need to tell her how inappropriate it is and how uncomfortable it makes you feel. And if she still doesn’t stop, go to HR. Or you could go straight to HR, either way, you need to stand up for yourself.

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