Post # 16
My general rule of thumb is, I don’t tattle unless my closet is completely empty of skeletons. Unless the child is disruptive of course, or it directly impacts you. If she’s not meeting a deadline that affects YOU, or her personal stuff during work hours creates more work for you or something like that.
It sounds like the gossip about it is disruptive
Post # 17
I would say something. Why does she get special privileges? Stuff like this can bring down office morale.
Post # 18
- Wedding: August 2012 - Iowa
Unless it is directly affecting you, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s not your business (or your corworkers) on how much work she is doing, or what arrangment she may or may not have regarding childcare.
Post # 19
- Wedding: July 2020 - City, State
Sansa85 : Ick. How do you know this talk is not happening during breaks?
Post # 20
Stay out if it unless it is affecting YOUR productivity directly.
Post # 21
Thanks for the feedback! It’s much appreciated. 🙂
To answer a lot of bee’s questions – her work performance has effected me… but I’ve just adjusted how I work with her. If a deadline is coming up i’ll gently and quietly mention “hey – I’m sure you got this covered but just double checking did you happen to do XX” and I sometimes I get a “yup – for it covered, but thanks for checking in” but most of the time I get a “oh my god, I didn’t, thanks for reminding me… I’ll do it now”. But, I think my other coworkers don’t want to feel like they have to remind her of things because it’s her job to handle those things. But personally, I think everyone deserves a helping hand once in a while! There’s a lot going on.
as for the child be loud/disruptive – no, I don’t find her daughter disruptive but my office isn’t close to hers. Other co-workers are in much closer proximity to her.
But you bees are right. I’ll stay in my lane. If coworkers bring it up to me I’ll shut down the conversation and tell them to bring it up to the Anna or HOD if they feel that strongly/it’s effecting their work with her.
Also, single moms have it TOUGH! I don’t want to make her life difficult
Post # 22
I’m glad you have decided to stay out of it. Summer child care is outrageously expensive where I’m from and if I was single I wouldn’t be able to pay for it, therefore I’d be bringing my son to work with me too. I wouldn’t like it, but it would be a necessity. In fact, I don’t have care for him on Wednesday’s this month so I’m working from home and he will be with me all day. If the office needs me, he’s coming with me. I’d be devastated if my co workers complained and caused me to be disciplined or worse, fired, for just doing my best to get by on my limited resources. Can you imagine how awful it would be for her to get fired when she’s already in a clearly precarious position as it is?
Post # 23
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I’d give them a heads up. If it’s allowed then it won’t be a problem. If it’s not allowed them she shouldn’t be doing it. I’m not sure why this is controversial.
Certainly not saying finding childcare is easy or inexpensive, but maybe bringing it up WILL bring about change in the workplace and will allow for more child friendly practices like working from home or developing in office childcare.
This could also potentially set up a situation where someone else who doesn’t have childcare who maybe has a more disruptive child will follow suit. Then what? You say parent A can bring their child because they’re quiet but parent B is out of luck because their child might need more attention in the office? Have other parents who might be struggling with the cost of childcare been offered this option? If not that’s incredibly unfair that she gets this option and other parents don’t.
Post # 24
Unless her daughter is disrupting YOUR work I would mind my own business and leave them be. You have no idea what arrangements she has made with upper management. Being a single mom is HARD. Paying for child care on a single parent income is HARD. I have a coworker who sometimes has to bring her two young children (6 and 3) in with her when we have overtime because she cannot afford extra hours for child care. Her children sit in her cubicle and play while she works. Can they be a little noisy? Sure, they’re kids. Do I mind my own business? Absolutely.
ETA: Just seen your update. I think you have made the right decision. I can understand not wanting to constantly give another worker little reminders to do their work but it sounds like she is trying.
Post # 25
Hi All – for those asking about company based child care. We do have a child care center associated with our company a few buildings over. But I think it’s something that the kids need to be enrolled in full-time as in I don’t think she could just enroll her daughter in for the summer as there would be a huuuge increase and would be difficult to have seasonal stafffing. I’ve never utilized the child care center so I’m not entirely sure how it works though so I could be wrong. As employees I know that we get a discounted rate but I’m sure it’s still expensive!
Post # 26
blueberrywave : The alternative is Anna stays home to watch her daughter more often, which means no work gets done. I wouldn’t say anything unless it’s disruptive to you and your colleagues. I’ve had coworkers in the past give the office kids something to do, like filing or opening/sorting mail. Are there busy tasks the kid can do to help you guys out? Maybe turn a negative into a positive?
Post # 27
This would annoy me & I would encourage my colleagues to voice their concerns to her manager.
Post # 28
Before I became a stay at home mom I worked full time with my oldest child. I worked an office job (my own enclosed office) in an industry that didn’t close- so I was expected to be there even if it snowed and the schools and her daycare were closed etc. My boss gave me permission to bring my daughter to work in such cases, as the alternative would be I would just have to stay home (no work from home option). Did it annoy my coworkers? Maybe, but hopefully not. But my boss valued my being there- even if it was only at say 75%- rather than being completely gone. That being said, it was like once a quarter, and certainly never 3 weeks in a row.
Post # 29
I disageee with not saying anything. The head of department should know. Single mother or not, she needs to make childcare arrangements.
Post # 30
Just like in this forum, not all people would understand nor have to tolerate it. But I’m sure it is a huge help for Anna for having an understanding friends. Yes being mom is hard and I’m sure she’s trying her best.