(Closed) Coworker's Inappropriate Comments Toward You: WWYD

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@badabing88:  HR was going to be my first suggestion but a lot of times they don’t do anything anyway (except make it worse for the person making the complaint). I would talk to him alone and tell him that it’s a workplace and his comments are inappropriate (or hell, even do it in front of the others like he did). Nothing better than a little shaming to stop assholes in their tracks.

Also, I dealt with this in my last role and I went to the person’s manager rather than to HR. That nipped the problem in the bud.

Post # 4
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Since he (or she) seems to be letting everyone in on the comments it sounds like harassment and/or trying to elicit a response from you.  If it continues I would consider speaking with someone in HR about it.  Or ignore it, and act like they’re invisible.

You seem to work with a lot of really rude people with too much time on their hands, lol.  Don’t they ever work? 

Post # 5
46600 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nothing beats direct communication Tell this person his behavior and remarks are making you uncomfortable and you would like them to stop. It is inappropriate to make you the target  of laughter from the people around his desk.Tell him you want to maintain professional behavior in the office.

Post # 7
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@badabing88:  The first thing HR is likely going to do is ask you if you have asked for the behavior to stop. So that’s my suggestion. Ask for it to stop and if it doesn’t, go to HR. HR actually does take sexual harassment very seriously as it’s one of the only company liability issues that is very clear under the law.

Post # 9
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@badabing88:  I personally would just walk over to his desk and say “I appreciate the compliments but they are getting to be a little inappropriate for the work place so anything more than a hello is not necessary. Thanks, have a good day!” lol But I like to just be up front while still professional and to the point. Hopefully you can get it taken care of without going to HR.

Post # 11
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would address the person directly. I actually wouldve done it right after that rather than be on here. I dont mean in front of everyone….ask to speak to them privately. I am VERY outspoken so I dont see an issue witb taking that first step. Next step, if it doesnt stop, is to the manager. Third: to HR.

Post # 12
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@badabing88:  This doesn’t sound like being friendly, it sounds like s/he is picking on you and trying to get everyone in the surrounding cubicles in on it.


….And honestly I don’t know how to handle being picked on other than hiding and founding another route *gulp*

Post # 14
1274 posts
Bumble bee

Can you stop in front of their desk and ask them to speak to you privately for a moment? Or if you don’t want to attract attention, email them and ask them to speak in private?  I know this is panic-inducing, but maybe if you pull them aside and ask them to stop because it’s making you feel uncomfortable it would stop?

It’s bullying in a way if it’s making you uncomfortable and causing you to do things to stay away from that person’s desk (i.e. taking a different route around the office on purpose). 


Post # 15
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes it is sexual harassment and you should go to HR.  If you really don’t want to, I’d send him a message telling him his comments are making you uncomfortable and you request that he please stop or else you will have to take further action.


ETA – it doesn’t have to be sexual in nature to be sexual harassment.




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