(Closed) Coworker Invite Question

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I work in a pretty small office and I’m just inviting everyone.  There are only about 3 people who I think will come, but for ME, I’m not comfortable with just inviting a select few.

Ugh, it’s SO hard when you work in a small office.

Post # 4
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

When you work in such a small office you almost have to invite them all.  If you don’t, then you may have to explain to the two people you don’t like why you didn’t/couldn’t invite them.  I think it will make your life the easiest by inviting them all.  Maybe the ones you don’t like won’t come! 

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I still think you can get away with picking and choosing. It’s a wedding, not a party. You know? You don’t have to explain anything to them, if they’re decent people they will understand and still congratulate you!

Post # 6
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I agree, why do you have to invite people you do don’t want there?  I would invite those who I do want there and ask to be quiet about it, and if others do find out, you say that it was a small wedding and you could not invite everyone.  Just because you work with someone you don’t have to invite them, a wedding is a personal matter.

Post # 7
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am in a situation very similar to yours.  I chose to invite everyone.  While I don’t dislike anyone I work with, there are a couple who I don’t talk to very often.  I’m friends with everyone else I work with and I just didn’t want to leave two people out and make them feel bad. 

Post # 8
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I was in a situation similar to yours.  We have a total of 10 employees and 7 of them I have worked with for almost 10 years the others I’m not close with, but ended up inviting them to the wedding because I felt bad also about not inviting some but others.  It ended up that the ones I didn’t know very well, didn’t show up anyway, but at least I sent them out so noone got their feelings hurt.

Post # 9
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just started working in a fairly small lab (8 people, counting me) and I’m undecided as to what I’ll do with coworker invitations. In your case, I think I would probably invite everyone and hope the two new people couldn’t come. There’s just no way to invite everyone but them without hurting any feelings, and word will spread FAST in an office that size, no matter what you do.

Post # 10
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well I don’t understand why anyone who makes it a point to not talk to you would ever in a million years assume you’d invite them to your wedding. I think you can safely leave that person off the list. And if that’s the one person in the office who doesn’t get an invite then so be it. Maybe if that person was actually nice to you, they wouldn’t be the odd man (or woman) out.

Post # 12
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Seems like a lot of extra people! We did no office people…could cause unecessary work drama and we both just started our jobs. Have you hung out with anyone outside of work?? I would say if you do invite any that would be a good rule of thumb. Do you have room on guest list?

Post # 13
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Seems like a lot of extra people! We did no office people…could cause unecessary work drama and we both just started our jobs. Have you hung out with anyone outside of work?? I would say if you do invite any that would be a good rule of thumb. Do you have room on guest list?

Post # 14
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Seems like a lot of extra people! We did no office people…could cause unecessary work drama and we both just started our jobs. Have you hung out with anyone outside of work?? I would say if you do invite any that would be a good rule of thumb. Do you have room on guest list?

Post # 15
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

When people ask about inviting office coworkers, but general response is to ask themselves, “If I left the office today, would I still be friends and hang out with any of these people?” Usually, the answer is no, which probably means it’s not worth it to invite them. Sometimes the answer is yes, so in that case, invite them because they’re real friends, and ask them to keep it on the down-low. If anyone asks, just say, “Well, we’ve become really good friends outside work.”

I work in a small office as well, and decided not to invite anyone. No one ever asked me about it, either, nor did anyone care that I’m aware of. If they did ask, I was prepared with the “we only invited close friends and family” speech.

The president of our company got married last year, too, and he definitely invited some people and not others. People were definitely miffed about it, and it kind of made for a weird/tense enviornment a few months after.

I would just avoid the postential awkwardness, and not invite any coworkers, unless you’re actually friends with any of them outside work. Just my two cents! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Well are you inviting plus ones for your other guests?  Also do any of your co-workers know any of your friends?  If not, then you could probably get away without inviting plus ones.  Do you know any of your co-workers SO’s?  If you have met them, it might seem kind of rude to invite one and not the other.  Maybe just invite ones that are living together?  So you don’t have your single co-workers inviting random people to your wedding.

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