(Closed) Coworker semi-flirty friendships

posted 3 years ago in Career
  • poll: Your thoughts

    He's just being friendly

    He is interested, but enjoy the friendship and help for now, keep things light

    He is interested, ask him if he wants to hang out outside of work

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1912 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    lauralaura123 :  BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is work… if things dont work out or youre mis reading the signals… it could end badly for you. I stay away from these things. Also is he single? You have to watch out for that too.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2677 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    I think you should tread very carefully with work relationships. If things go south, things can get awkward for you and often for your other peers, as well.

    Post # 5
    Member
    832 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Agree with PPs on treading carefully since you work so closely with him. DH and I met through work but though we worked for the same company and on the same floor, we were in two completely different departments and didn’t need to interact at all. If things hadn’t worked out, it would have been easy to break off the working relationship. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1594 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    View original reply
    lauralaura123 :  I dated a guy at work once, and vowed to never do it again. When things end, coworkers may tend to take sides. In my situation, he had been there longer than me so he had established stronger relationships with everyone, and was a pretty likable guy, so everyone ended up thinking I’d hurt him so bad just because he didn’t want things to end and was upset. He told everyone horrible things about me while I chose to try and stay professional and keep quiet about the breakup (even though the real reason for the split was because he cheated and had dirty pictures of underage girls on his phone!). Everyone started treating me poorly after that until I ultimately quit. 

    Some people probably have romantic love stories about meeting a coworker, falling in love and it working out wonderfully (which is awesome!), but it was one of the worst breakups I ever went through because of us working together. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    960 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    work husband. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    lauralaura123 :  My husband and I met at work! We still work together.

    We work for a major company with about 21k employees, we have about 4k in our office complex. All this to say, we do not work in the same area and we don’t see each other at work.

    It works for some people and doesn’t for others. We are very very private so we kept quiet until a few months after we were engaged. 

    We keep our relationships with our colleagues friendly and professional. So nobody is in our personal business. 

    We don’t carpool because I leave the office before him and I work from home 2 days a week. 

    It works well for us! 

    Be careful and private if you go out with him. But don’t write him off due to working together. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee

    “When he found out I was single (I was discussing with a good female friend at work and he was in the break room) he seemed very interested and asked me if my boyfriend had broken up with me.”

    lolwhat

    Post # 10
    Member
    3368 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    beesaredyingatanalarmingrate :  I know right what a weird/rude assumption? 

    But otherwise OP I wouldn’t write him off just because you work together (as that’s how a lot of people meet their spouses) but tread veryyyyy carefully! How much would you have to see him if things got awkward or if you broke up down the road? 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee

    I used to be involved in games like this. They have all turned into disasters. My now husband let me know 100% that he was interested in me, and only me and asked me bluntly if we should try dating. Everyone else who did those stupid games that make you think “does he like me? Is that a sign?” trust me, he’s playing the field and playing cat and mouse with 5 other women. He just loves attention and loves to flirt… that’d be my best bet based on years and years of experience. So.. don’t take him seriously until he makes it more serious!

    Post # 14
    Member
    4098 posts
    Honey bee

    I’ve known several people who have met at work and continued on to have successful relationships (both couples are married). It can go poorly, but I don’t see the big deal if you take it slowly and get to know each other outside of work. I know people can turn out to be batshit crazy and make it impossible to work together if things go south, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the norm. If he is in fact interested, I don’t see the big deal in getting to know him more on a personal level. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

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    lauralaura123 :  I met my fiance at work. We were the best of friends and (yes, a bit distracted) eventually we couldn’t ignore our romantic interest any longer. It was frankly pretty amazing the way it worked out. We still work together actually at a different company. A lot of people say that they wouldn’t be able to handle it, but since we were best friends from the start, it’s easy for us!

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