Post # 1
There is a person I work with who I have become pretty friendly with.
When he first started at the company and we were discussing our college careers, he said “Oh, it’s funny how life works out, if we had gone to the same college we could’ve met sooner.”
When he found out I was single (I was discussing with a good female friend at work and he was in the break room) he seemed very interested and asked me if my boyfriend had broken up with me.
We work on a lot of the same projects and he’s always had my back and defended me whenever something went awry.
He finds excuses to come to my office and ask me questions, we’re in each other’s offices at least an hour a day trying to figure out an issue (but legitimately working).
The other day he gave me a fountain pen as a gift that I saw in his office and mentioned I thought looked neat.
He is a great friend and I feel a certain vibe when we’re together, that he is romatically interested.
Could be I am misreading things and he is just being friendly.
Have you all ever had a workplace romance work out or turn into disaster?
Post # 2
BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is work… if things dont work out or youre mis reading the signals… it could end badly for you. I stay away from these things. Also is he single? You have to watch out for that too.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
I think you should tread very carefully with work relationships. If things go south, things can get awkward for you and often for your other peers, as well.
Post # 4
He is single, I don’t think I would get involved romantically unless one of us switched jobs, but having him as my coworker definitely makes the day more enjoyable.
Post # 5
Agree with PPs on treading carefully since you work so closely with him. DH and I met through work but though we worked for the same company and on the same floor, we were in two completely different departments and didn’t need to interact at all. If things hadn’t worked out, it would have been easy to break off the working relationship.
Post # 6
I dated a guy at work once, and vowed to never do it again. When things end, coworkers may tend to take sides. In my situation, he had been there longer than me so he had established stronger relationships with everyone, and was a pretty likable guy, so everyone ended up thinking I’d hurt him so bad just because he didn’t want things to end and was upset. He told everyone horrible things about me while I chose to try and stay professional and keep quiet about the breakup (even though the real reason for the split was because he cheated and had dirty pictures of underage girls on his phone!). Everyone started treating me poorly after that until I ultimately quit.
Some people probably have romantic love stories about meeting a coworker, falling in love and it working out wonderfully (which is awesome!), but it was one of the worst breakups I ever went through because of us working together.
Post # 8
My husband and I met at work! We still work together.
We work for a major company with about 21k employees, we have about 4k in our office complex. All this to say, we do not work in the same area and we don’t see each other at work.
It works for some people and doesn’t for others. We are very very private so we kept quiet until a few months after we were engaged.
We keep our relationships with our colleagues friendly and professional. So nobody is in our personal business.
We don’t carpool because I leave the office before him and I work from home 2 days a week.
It works well for us!
Be careful and private if you go out with him. But don’t write him off due to working together.
Post # 9
“When he found out I was single (I was discussing with a good female friend at work and he was in the break room) he seemed very interested and asked me if my boyfriend had broken up with me.”
Post # 10
I know right what a weird/rude assumption?
But otherwise OP I wouldn’t write him off just because you work together (as that’s how a lot of people meet their spouses) but tread veryyyyy carefully! How much would you have to see him if things got awkward or if you broke up down the road?
Post # 11
I would have to see him and interact with him almost every day as long as we are in the same department and work on a lot of projects together. I agree that him assuming I was the dumpee wasn’t very tactful, my answer to him was that we did break up, unfortunately, and I stopped at that, because it’s really none of his concern.
Post # 12
I used to be involved in games like this. They have all turned into disasters. My now husband let me know 100% that he was interested in me, and only me and asked me bluntly if we should try dating. Everyone else who did those stupid games that make you think “does he like me? Is that a sign?” trust me, he’s playing the field and playing cat and mouse with 5 other women. He just loves attention and loves to flirt… that’d be my best bet based on years and years of experience. So.. don’t take him seriously until he makes it more serious!
Post # 13
What would be the point of him telling me outright that he was interested if we work together and he doesn’t want to date a coworker? “I’m interested in you, but would only pursue this if we end up working at different jobs” could make the work relationship verrry awkward. I’m definitely not taking it too seriously though 🙂
Post # 14
I’ve known several people who have met at work and continued on to have successful relationships (both couples are married). It can go poorly, but I don’t see the big deal if you take it slowly and get to know each other outside of work. I know people can turn out to be batshit crazy and make it impossible to work together if things go south, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the norm. If he is in fact interested, I don’t see the big deal in getting to know him more on a personal level.
Post # 15
I met my fiance at work. We were the best of friends and (yes, a bit distracted) eventually we couldn’t ignore our romantic interest any longer. It was frankly pretty amazing the way it worked out. We still work together actually at a different company. A lot of people say that they wouldn’t be able to handle it, but since we were best friends from the start, it’s easy for us!