(Closed) coworker that smoked all through pregnancy had her baby…

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 63
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Laurenskii:  My obese Future Sister-In-Law had a stillborn baby. The death was not related to her weight, but instead to gross negligence on the part of her doctor. People made the same kind of comments in this thread to her face – total assumption on their part. That probably has something to do with me getting ticked off.

Post # 64
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6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@Laurenskii:  Actually you are being very judgemental you started not 1 but 2 threads now on her. How would you feel if someone in your life started 2 threads about you. 

And no I wouldn’t judge because I have been in her shoes with a sick infant.  I would not wish what she is  going through on anyone not even my worst enemy.  

Post # 65
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Laurenskii:  You’re right, all I know about this situation is what you posted. So that’s what I based my comment in. I’m not saying you’re a bad person. I just don’t see how the judgement helps anyone. But if it’s making you feel better to rant, I guess that’s a benefit.

Post # 67
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

We all have our own issues. Some of us just don’t start threads airing out somone elses sh*t.

 

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@Sassygrn:  I was a teen mom and my DD was in the NICU after I had abruption of the placenta. I can’t tell you how many times I felt judged by some of the other parents there and one nurse who was very open about her preconceived ideas about me. Who knows all of the reasons this ladie’s baby is so tiny, but definately not our place to involve ourselves.

Post # 68
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

@Laurenskii:  

That is depressing.

I am so sorry for the poor child!

Post # 69
Member
982 posts
Busy bee

I, for one, am sort of glad for the update. I clearly remember the previous post. I’m not sure if I commented or not but it made my blood boil.

People can go on and on about how hard it is to quit, but honestly if someone wants to then they will. This woman seems selfish and uncaring. If she cared for her son’s well-being she would have stopped smoking. I hope that this little boy will make it and will have genuine love and support from others.

Post # 70
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@ieatunicorns:  Oh I know, how it is.  I get judged all the time when I tell people about my little guy being born early and was tiny. Heck he is still tiny for his age.

 

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@Laurenskii:  And you know what I feel sorry for you.  I hope you never have to go through having a child that small and having to deal with being in the NCIU.  My little boy was 7 weeks early and each day sucked.  It was hell, and the woman in question may have bad choices in her life, hell who hasn’t. But seriously to come on the interenet to bash her makes you just as low in choices.  And with that I am done with this thread and I have flagged it.  

Post # 71
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@Laurenskii:  She willfully let her son be born premature with a huge risk for SIDS, despite knowing better. This woman is obviously not fit to be a mother, and if she couldn’t stop smoking a pack a day while pregnant, she won’t as he grows up either. If she is this overtly damaging and neglectful now, it isn’t going to get any better. If the boy survives this, I highly doubt he will survive into double digits, since he will be home with this chain smoker, solely under her (lack of) care.  She is unwilling to make even the most simple and sensible of sacrifices for him. Raising children is built on sacrifice.

Basically, I am saying you should call child services. This child does not stand a chance with this woman.

And all you “don’t judge” people – please. Are you serious? This woman is essentially a child abuser. “Oh, don’t judge this poor little lamb, she only horribly damaged her baby by her own choices, poor woman!” What’s next? “Guys, I know that guy just beat his four year old daughter nearly to death, but you don’t know what’s going on with his life! Don’t judge people like that!” I sure as heck hope your pristine little lack of judgement doesn’t keep you from stepping in and helping actual victims, instead of defending abusers like it’s your job.

Post # 72
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

if I were you, I would bring up that fact… only if asked about it. If she said “Wow Laurenskii, I just don’t know how this happened.” I would reply “Well it might be due to the poor decisions you made while pregnant.” in my opinion, people need to be aware of cause and reaction, and clearly she’s oblivious. sad. 

I hope she can learn from this and give 100% in raising her son. 

Post # 73
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I can’t believe the responses on here.  You clearly aren’t saying any of this to her.  I would be upset and frustrated too if I watched someone doing something that was terribly unhealthy for their child (and they knew it).  I would feel the same way if I saw a pregnant woman getting wasted at a bar.  Would I say anything to her face?  Probably not, but I would definitely tell my friends about it later.  I don’t see how you posting to an anonymous thread on the internet would ever hurt her or her baby.  I totally see where you are coming from.   I feel bad for her baby and I hope she makes healthier decisions in the future.

Post # 74
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I don’t understand why people get so upset over “judgement” on here… it’s a discussion forum to voice your opinion. Most people’s opinion involves some sort of judgement. We observe what we see, and our instinct is to assess the situation… This is mostly an anonymous outlet.

Post # 76
Member
4845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s just a sad situation for all involved. I’m just sorry, that’s all.

The topic ‘coworker that smoked all through pregnancy had her baby…’ is closed to new replies.

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