Post # 1
I’ve been at my job for 10 years. I have thus far invited a few of the ppl I have worked with for a # of years and two others that are new whom I have actually spent some (minimal albeit) time with outside of work. One of the girls has since resigned and started a new job. I have told the select few invited that I was only able to invite a few ppl (so far) and asked that it not be brought up in front of others as this can be and has been awkward.
High turnover at my job means that all others in the role that I am in, have been there less than a year. Furthermore, we have a new structure such that I literally barely know any of the ppl who currently work in the role that I am in. I have considered inviting a few other people that I really do like, would enjoy having them come to the wedding with that I am not close with, but I don’t want to offend anyone. I also considered inviting a few ppl on my team. I feel like maybe if some know I’ve invited a handful of ppl, that there could already be some offended. I work with mostly women.
At work, I am the person who is generally the least social while most others seem to mingle and get to know one another. This is in large part due to turn over. I literally work with nobody that I worked with just one year ago.
All of this being said, I feel that people should not be surprised or offended that they haven’t been invited but I feel it could be even more offensive if I invite a few more hand selected people. Fiance has HUGE family.
Post # 2
I don’t think you should invite the people in your dept that you don’t know well. Regardless of how you think people should feel, if people feel slighted/offended over not being invited, then that’s just how they feel. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were offended, especially since you mentioned inviting some people that you don’t hang out frequently with outside of work.
If people are offended, that could create for an awkward situation at work.
Post # 3
I don’t think coworkers can expect a wedding invite, it’s too hard. You cannot be expected to invite everyone.
Obviously this would change if you were inviting the whole office but 1 or 2 – that’s just cruel! But of your inviting a select few 100% fine.
if I had been at a job less than a year I would not expect an invite
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
I invited two of my ten close co-workers and didn’t feel bad about it. One of the girls I didn’t invite is getting married in September and I’m pretty sure she isn’t inviting me (I know her save the dates have gone out and I didn’t get one!) but I’m not bothered at all (it would be stupid if I was, really!). Invite who you want!
Post # 5
after 10 years there is bound to be those in the office who prioritise your relationship more than you do and will be butte hurt to fiind out others in the office rated an invite but not them. It could make work very uncomfortable.
Post # 6
I would invite only those with whom you have a relationship outside the office.
Post # 7
I think you have handled things well so far, and I wouldn’t invite the people you aren’t close to simply because they’re in your department. If the people you ARE close to have been willing to keep the invitation on the down-low, then I think all is well 🙂
Post # 8
I didn’t invite any of my coworkers, and I work on a small team of 6. I don’t hang out with any of them outside of work and knew that a couple of them could have cared less about my wedding altogether (and I rarely talked about it at work, unless someone asked me). I was invited to one of their weddings a few years ago but wasn’t able to go. Did I feel bad not inviting them? A little, but oh well.
DH is close with his coworkers (4 of them), and they were invited with no question.
Post # 9
In general, you are wisest if you keep your social life and your professional life separate, and avoid complications. Conventions, awards dinners and office parties are work events, for all that they often masquerade as social functions. Your wedding is unequivocally a social event and you should avoid inviting anyone who is not truly a friend. That will avoid the problems of creating any awkwardness at work.
Of course, workplace relationships should always be “friendly”. Co-workers should be polite and cordial, and take at least a nominal interest in one another as people. Such relationships are more properly called “collegial”. A friend is someone you spend time with socially, outside of work and work-related events — and stopping at the pub on Friday after work before you head home is still a work-related event, even if not an official event. If you are not sure of the distinction, ask yourself: do I know this person’s address, so that I can send the invitation there instead of inappropriately delivering it at work? Do I know the name of their spouse or partner, so that I can include it on the invitation, and have I met that person? If one of us were laid off tomorrow, would we still see one another regularly? When I mention this person to others, do I say — and think — “she’s a friend who works at the same company rather than saying “she’s a co-worker”. If you cannot answer yes to all those questions, you are wiser not to invite them; and they are wiser to decline your invitation if you do.
Post # 10
I had a similar situation; I just invited the few people at my job that I have an actual social relationship with. I asked them to keep their invitations quiet since I couldn’t invite everyone and they understood. My other coworkers are very happy to ask me about my wedding plans, but none of them seem like they expect to be invited. I think everyone knows that most people can’t invite everyone to their wedding, so they don’t get offended when not invited.
Also, I told the people who are invited several months ago; recently, I decided to leave this job. How do I know I invited the right people? I still want them there even though we will no longer be coworkers when the wedding comes around.
Post # 11
Yeah I don’t talk about the wedding unless asked and even then, I don’t elaborate unless it’s one of the ppl invited during one on one convo.
Post # 12
I didn’t talk about my wedding unless somebody asked about it.
The worst thing that happens is if you talk about it so much that the person thinks they will be invited and actually say they look forward to going. I invited those who I wanted to go and am friendly with them, not for the sake of it.
Post # 13
Meaning I have been there for 10 years but the other people that do the same job as me, have been there less than a year. I invited two of them bc I have actually hung out with/talked to them outside of work. The other 4 that I invited are individuals I have worked with for at least 3 years.
Post # 14
I don’t talk about it unless I’m asked about it, or on rare ocassions when it is relative…such as needing to follow up about finding ppl to cover certain cases for me. Never have I shared details unless asked and even then, I shy away from discussing.
Post # 15
Thank you! Yeah I mean there are ppl I rarely talk to, simply because nature of our jobs means we are in and out a lot…and when I am in, I have only two co workers that do the same job as me, on my floor.