(Closed) coworkers, can I do a less formal invite so they don’t feel obligaged to gift?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s very nice of you to consider their financial situtations. However, if you want them there, just invite them…it’s up to them how much they gift.

I was invited to a co-workers wedding a couple weeks ahead of time (with a formal invitation) only because she wanted to keep the work list small and didn’t want the invites to turn into gossip. So, in my eyes, the invitation represents their presence (not presents) that you would like…

In my opinion, just give them a normal invite…

Post # 4
218 posts
Helper bee

I would just give them a formal invite. It is very unlikely that they will feel the need to blow their budgets to get you a wedding gift.

The way I see it, it’s tradition to bring a gift, no matter how big or small. The bride and groom are throwing an elaborate party, providing food, drink, and entertainment, and in return, guests bring gifts.

If all they can afford is a simple card, or a bottle of ‘ok’ wine, that’s what they will get you.

Post # 5
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

With a late, non-formal invite, they may feel like b-listers.  I would give them a regular one or none at all.

Post # 6
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with everyone, a casual “hey we are having a party” suggests that they are somewhat of an afterthought. I totally get what you are trying to do (being sensitive to their situations), but I have never received an invitation and felt pressured to gift a certain amount. Just emphasize when yu give it to them that you would really love it if they could come, so they know the true reason as to why you are handing them an invite!

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