Post # 1
Hi! My wedding is in a few weeks, invites have been sent. I decided not to invite anyone from work as I am not ‘outside of work’ friends with any of them and the few I probably would invite would either not be able to come or are experiencing serious financial difficulties (husband lost job, unexpected pregnancy and dad not in sight…) I had intnded to ask people how they felt about it but I never found a good time. I didn’t want to do the ‘got an invite-must send gift’ to anyone. SO, I am considering giving less formal invites to these people about two weeks prior…such as ‘you know were having a party and if you’re not doing anything we’d really like you to come and eat and party with us’…is that crazy? As I write it, I’m thinking ‘bad idea, insulting’ but… is there another option? Just be honest, and thanks…who else could I ask this to?
Post # 3
It’s very nice of you to consider their financial situtations. However, if you want them there, just invite them…it’s up to them how much they gift.
I was invited to a co-workers wedding a couple weeks ahead of time (with a formal invitation) only because she wanted to keep the work list small and didn’t want the invites to turn into gossip. So, in my eyes, the invitation represents their presence (not presents) that you would like…
In my opinion, just give them a normal invite…
Post # 4
I would just give them a formal invite. It is very unlikely that they will feel the need to blow their budgets to get you a wedding gift.
The way I see it, it’s tradition to bring a gift, no matter how big or small. The bride and groom are throwing an elaborate party, providing food, drink, and entertainment, and in return, guests bring gifts.
If all they can afford is a simple card, or a bottle of ‘ok’ wine, that’s what they will get you.
Post # 5
With a late, non-formal invite, they may feel like b-listers. I would give them a regular one or none at all.
Post # 6
I agree with everyone, a casual “hey we are having a party” suggests that they are somewhat of an afterthought. I totally get what you are trying to do (being sensitive to their situations), but I have never received an invitation and felt pressured to gift a certain amount. Just emphasize when yu give it to them that you would really love it if they could come, so they know the true reason as to why you are handing them an invite!