(Closed) Coworkers Giving Me a Hard Time Since Engagement

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I definitely wouldn’t discuss your wedding or anything personal with them. Keep looking for a job or see if you can transfer to another department, and keep your personal life and excitement to yourself. They don’t deserve to share in it, and will only use it for gossip.

Post # 4
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you just need to keep your wedding plans to themselves and don’t give them any more amo against you. They donn’t seem like very happy people so just stick to your work and kill them with kindness. You can celebrate all you want on here though Wink 

Post # 5
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree that if you go to your boss about someone “eye rolling, pointing out your mistakes, or leaving the room”, he/she will probably wave you off as a whiner.

I’m sure there are plenty of ways you can bite back at them, but they don’t seem to be worth it. Just keep doing your job, or talk to them as necessary, and good luck on the job hunt!

 

 

Post # 6
Member
3101 posts
Sugar bee

@NothingSaid:  Stand your ground with them, but stop talking about your wedding.  No one wants to hear it IRL…just come here and post on the Bee 🙂

Post # 7
Member
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Stop talking about your wedding, and just ignore them and do what you need to do for work.  Don’t associate with them unless you have to.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Post # 8
Member
6361 posts
Bee Keeper

With an environment like that, I’m not sure why you’re discussing your wedding plans at work at all! It’s not necessary to. You may want to consider if you may have been egging them on without really realizing it. It’s rather uncommon, I think, for there to be more than one person in the same location that really resents someone who’s engaged simply for being engaged, so this is odd and suggests there may be more to the story, something you’re doing or have done that you could take steps to correct. However, there may not be, and this may simply be a very toxic environment that you should leave ASAP. 

Post # 9
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This is a challenge for you in your life. I’ve found that if we don’t learn or grow from a particular situation we will find it wherever we go until we learn what the lesson is. For this reason I suggest you try your best to stay exactly where you are and use a technique that I use when in similar situations.

 

Instead of being frightened, hurt or any other feelings you may have; try to offer genuine well wishes for both these woman. I don’t mean offer it verbally NOT AT ALL; they would look at you like you’ve lost your marbles. But I mean from inside of yourself bless them and wish them happiness and wellness.

 

In some situations we attract what we are (not that I think you are like them, not at all, maybe this is a growth opportunity for you instead) so if we are angry we attract angry people. Likewise if we are positive we attract positive people. Give it a try and see what happens. Whenever they are behaving poorly mentally bless them and move on. It literally takes 1 second to do.

I can’t tell you how many times this spiritual trick has helped me in life. It worked even with my sometimes difficult assistant director.

Post # 10
Member
2300 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

why did you ‘announce’ your engagement at work? and why are you talking about wedding plans multiple times? that’s not professional, and doesn’t have any place at work, especially since you’re not close with your coworkers. 

i can’t explain why they’re being rude to you – BUT you’re not helping the situation – it would be a cinch for them to tell your boss that ‘she’s constantly talking about her wedding’ and insinuate that you’re planning it at work or whatever – because it seems like you’ve brought it up multiple times and ‘announced’ it to your coworkers, which is a bit odd. 

it’s unfortuante they’re being rude to you – why don’t you try and clear the air? ‘x, i really enjoy my work, and you seem to be upset with me over x, y and z (not anything to do with your engagement). is there a way that we can work this out?’ who knows, maybe there’s a simple explanation for this, or that something you do causes extra work for her etc. 

i think her coming over to you to correct you every time you talk about your wedding is to not so subtly hint that you’re at work and shouldn’t be discussing your wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@smileyme:  I love this idea/suggestion. I do this as well. 🙂

I do want to comment that sometimes we do attract angry people when we are angry or sad when we’re sad, positive, when positive. BUT. Sometimes I have found we attract the opposite of what we are because we are being called to develop that which we are not claiming in us. Or even better, we attract something we were days, weeks or years ago and it acts as a mirror. 

So, OP, maybe the lesson here is something you need to learn… Like keeping details to yourself, defending yourself or just the really hard art of ignoring monkeys who throw crap…I can’t personally tell you. But I can vouch that if you leave, you will be presented the lesson until it’s learned. 

If this is too much for you, my simple advice is to keep to yourself. 😉 

Post # 13
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont discuss my wedding at work. At all. I never announced my engagement at work either. I’m sure nobody at my job cares and those that do noticed my

 

ring and congratulated me. None of the issues you listed would really bother me or make me get a new job but I guess I have thick skin in living in my area.

ETA: I dont answer any wedding related calls at work and if I do I step outside or close my door. 

 

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