Post # 1
My fiance and I both invited several of our coworkers to our wedding.
My fiance works for a small family-owned business with less than 10 employees; his dad is the owner. His family makes up most of the staff. It would have been awkward to exclude the one person my fiance doesn’t like, because everyone else will be invited, so we just decided to invite his whole office. Everyone got a STD.
I work for a much larger company. I invited my girlfriends from work who I consider friends and have either spent time with outside of work, or gladly would given the chance (we live far apart). I also invited one woman who is my mother’s age who I worked closely with and was very excited about my engagement. She was very sweet and we were very good friends despite her being 30 years older than me. I felt that we would be working together for a long time and wanted to have her as a close friend at work. I sent her, and all the other girls I mentioned, Save-The-Date Cards.
Well, the one guy my fiance hates at his job just got fired, and not on the best terms. He had several chances to perform better and didn’t.
And, well, my older friend at work unexpectedly left the company for a new job. She wasn’t looking but something came up and she left.
Do we still have to send these people invitations? The guy, we do NOT want to invite; we didn’t in the first place but felt obligated. The woman, I would love to continute my friendship with her but I doubt that will happen now that she has quit. I want to invite her still but I don’t want to waste 2 “spots” on someone I will never see again. (Honestly I’m thinking she might courtesouly decline given the fact that we no longer work together.)
What would you do, bees?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum
Invite the lady, but not the man. Would be awkward having him there with your Fi family anyway
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@odelly: Everyone you sent Save-The-Date Cards needs to receive an invite. Maybe given the situation they will choose not to attend.
THIS is why I didn’t send co-workers Save-The-Date Cards… just invites when that time came!
Post # 5
I would ordinarily say every person who received a STD needs an invite. HOWEVER, for the guy, if it could conveniently be “very difficult to track down his new contact information” it might not be the worst thing ever. I guess if you sent the STD to his home address that’s a little difficult to get away with.
I’d probably still invite the woman though. Let her be the one to decide if she still wants to attend. Weddings are a fair expense of time and money for guests as well, so she very well may decide not to if she doesn’t see the relationship continuing.
And yeah, I didn’t STD any coworkers either. Much easier to gauge where things are going to be at invite time. Too late for you, but a good Public Service Announcement for future bees! Only STD the people you literally want to make a real effort to plan their social life around your wedding 🙂
Post # 6
I would invite the lady, but not the man. Your words are telling, ” I’d like to remain friends with her”, ” fi doesn’t like him”.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. I do feel like I should still invite the lady, and not just for etiquette. I do hope we remain friends! The man, though, is someone neither of us like. I’m anticipating my FI’s family will say we have to, though.
Post # 8
Invite the woman. The man… depends on WHAT he did to get fired. Anyway, I wouldn’t show up to a wedding for an excoworker if I’d been fired from the job.
Post # 9
@lanalnoco: You would think, but this individual is completely ignorant of general etiquette and loves a free meal. I left all of that out of the main post because it’s just exhausting to think about, let alone retell. He got fired for incompetence after several warnings over several months.
Post # 10
Reaon #874840 that STD’s are a bad idea except for for your nearest and dearest.
You have sent and STD, and must send an invitation. Hopefully, they will decline.
Post # 11
@odelly: Was he ever rude with your fiance directly? Do you think his lack of social graces will interfere with your good time on your wedding day? If so, don’t invite him. If his worst crime is being a crappy worker and a mooch, though, I’d let it slide and invite him.
Post # 12
You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to invite, regardless of whether you sent them an STD or not. Sure, I suppose it’s technically rude to not invite them after you sent them the STD, but if you no longer want to invite them no one will send you to jail if you don’t. Especially not if you don’t anticipate remaining in contact with either of them.