(Closed) Coworkers just don’t understand

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

No some people just dont get it. They dont remember what it felt like maybe? But I get your giddy feelings! I hope you have fun on your trip and Ill keep my fingers crossed that it happens πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Haters gonna hate, eff ’em. They’ll be the first ones in line to eat crow and gush over you and your ring when it turns out you’re right. Just maintain your positive attitude, and don’t let them get to you.

Good luck, hope you come back engaged!

Post # 5
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t worry about them! Anticipation is fun! πŸ™‚ Good luck this weekend!

Post # 6
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I dunno, I guess I am just different and like to keep it really private.I just don’t tell anyone other than 2 very close friends…(1 of whom guessed it’d be the same date as I had guessed, which was not the more expected 3 year anniversary last weekend).  I don’t want everyone to know I am guessing it’ll happen in 2.5 weeks – I don’t want them asking about it or me having to say no to them.  It also would seem weird to tell coworkers, but not my family.

I had a coworker tell me abt how she had been mad at her Fiance for waiting so long (turns out it was because he was saving for a 2 carat ring high on clarity/cut/color) and I remember thinking it was odd she was telling me this because while we shared an office and worked together, we weren’t super close and she normally wouldn’t share personal things too much.

So…my suggestion is to talk to bees, not coworkers!

Post # 8
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

@smiley3: No, they really don’t get it… I’ve had some of my good friends at work ask me how the weekend was, and, since they’re friends, I’ve shared what was said in the car and at lunch. Now they keep talking about wedding planning, and I really just want to say, “NO! NO NO NO! There is no wedding planning until there is a ring. And even though I suspect it will happen in July, I DON’T KNOW.”

But I am good and I don’t yell.

Post # 9
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@kay01: I share with no one but Bees!  I’ve treid so hard for a looooong time to never seem like I’m complaining about our relationship to friends, because the few times I have it’s cause them to want to take sides, which really is not what I want at all.

I have one nice older lady at work who after asking me last year how long we’d been together, and following the obligatory, “What, and he’s not poped the question, yet?” has listened to the small amount I’ve felt okay sharing, but even then I know most people feel that we’ve been together so long it shouldn’t matter anymore… When to me we’ve been together so long it matters even MORE.  The lady at work even told me, when I was having a really hard time last fall after so many other got engaged around us (it was about 8 couples in a few months) to just go buy myself my own ring… She was trying to amke me feel it didn’t matter anyway and to not be sad, but of course I want HIM to want to give me a ring and a new name – that’s what would make it special – him wanting to do it and then actually doing it, not me faking it by finding myself something shiny. 

For many woemn, especially those from earlier generations, a couple that has agreed a proposal is coming within a (somewhat) mutally agreed upon timeline is mystifying.  In all likelihood, they were proposed to as a surprise, within a shorter dating time-frame, and only their parents knew it was coming.  The shared decision that modern couples seem to have, as per the Bee, is a pretty new thing, which could be why many of them don’t understand how you could know it’s coming, but not know it’s coming, and still hope to be surprised… It DOES sound a little paradoxical to anyone not in that situation. 

Post # 10
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think that sometimes people forget what a magical time this is in a relationship! Fingers crossed for you, enjoy the weekend. πŸ˜€

Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Isilme: For many woemn, especially those from earlier generations, a couple that has agreed a proposal is coming within a (somewhat) mutally agreed upon timeline is mystifying.

I think you’re absolutely right on this.  Among our generation, it’s much more common, such that questions folks ask initially include things like “Did you pick it out yourself?” which I imagine is foreign to the older folks.  Although, that said, my dad proposed to my mom with his college pinky ring (Coast Guard Academy, this is tradition) but then they together designed the diamond engagement ring through a family friend jeweler.

And even my two friends who know about the impending engagement, ring bought, didn’t hear all of my earlier angst.  It’s easier to share that anonymously.  I’m generally a very open book, but there are some things that I like to keep close to my chest.

Post # 12
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

@kay01: I’m generally a very open book, but there are some things that I like to keep close to my chest.

Me too. I really only share in my blog.LOL I don’t here because of negative comments and I don’t to my friends because I’ll have to hear if he did it yet or not.LOL

 

Post # 13
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I dont really talk about anything wedding related withcivilians`in the real world πŸ˜‰

 

Thank GAWD for weddingbee or my friends/family/finace would be so sick of me by now πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

@MissNoodles: HAHA Best quote ever!

I dont really talk about anything wedding related with civilians`in the real world πŸ˜‰

I’m trying to get better about doing this.

Post # 15
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

The only person I’ve told about looking for rings is my sister.  It was especially important since she’s in the military so if the proposal happens in the next couple of months (which I hope it does!!) I can’t just call her to tell her, so I really wanted her to get a heads up and feel included.  If she was going to be in the country when it happened, she would be the first one I’d call!  My mom did ask, about a week before we looked at rings but had already discussed getting engaged in the near future, if she should be planning a trip out here for any ‘big events’ in the next year or so, and I said yes.

Other than that, if someone brings it up I will tell them where we stand, but to be honest it’s hard enough not to think about it 24/7 so I don’t want other people asking about when it will happen all the time either.  Especially since I’m pretty sure Boyfriend or Best Friend is getting a custom ring and I have no idea if he’s even had it designed yet or how long it would take to be ready, it could be awhile for me to wait.  Plus I kind of like the idea of surprising everyone, just like I’m glad Boyfriend or Best Friend is keeping the ring and proposal a surprise!

I hope it does happen for you soon though!  I know if I worked with you I’d be just as excited for you and definitely not rolling my eyes!  I work with older women (they’re all definitely old enough to be my mom) and I do wonder if they would have the same reaction as your coworkers if I told them I was expecting a proposal.  

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