Post # 1
I was very vocal about not wanting a shower or a bach party. I usually find them tedious to attend, so I feel funny expecting people to attend one for me. I’m not so hugely into weddings, and we’re only having a larger event because my fiancé wanted one. If it were up to me, we would have kept it very simple and invited about 30 people to a restaurant.
Despite knowing my feelings, my Maid/Matron of Honor is pressuring me to have a bach party on a date that is inconvenient for me. I am also pretty certain that she’s planning a surprise shower.
She seems to think that I’ll “come around” on all this wedding stuff, and I am finding it very condescending of her. I just want to be married! I’m not interested in being the center of attention and making such a production about it. Now I am going to have to act all smiley at the shower to avoid making everyone think I’m an ungrateful jerk. And then she is going to smugly say, “See? You had a good time! I told you so!”
I’m not sure how to get over my annoyance about this. I understand that she means well but why can’t she just take me at my word on this?
Post # 3
i understand not wanting a bachelorette party, but showers seem more important to me. Not only is it for you – but I’m sure it’s important to your friends and family to have one and celebrate with you. I don’t like the idea of a shower, but I know it would break my mom’s heart not to have one.
Post # 4
Reasons I don’t want a shower: I feel very dumb playing shower “games”. Opening gifts in front of people would make me feel like a bratty child at a birthday party. The thought of it makes me so uncomfortable. We are mid-thirties professionals. We can afford to buy the things we need. Maybe it would be different if I was in my early twenties, though I doubt it.
I’m not a very girly person, and showers are extremely girly events. It’s just not me. I can tolerate them when it’s for someone else, but I would much rather just have lunch one-on-one with a friend. If anyone tried to make me play that “newlywed game”-style game where I have to guess my fiancé’s answers to questions about our relationship, I would be completely mortified.
At least with the wedding, I can just approach it as an excuse to plan a big party that happens to have a ceremony attached. And it’s not just for me; it’s for my fiancé and our parents too.
Just to provide some context, I am also someone who throws parties on my birthday without telling people that it’s my birthday. I like to have fun with my friends, but I don’t like to make it All About Me.
Post # 5
@ElbieKay: I totally understand how you feel. I’m not having any extra parties either, because being the center of attention just freaks me out. My close friend keeps checking up on me to see if I’ve changed my mind and want her to host a shower, but at least she is nice about it, just making sure that I’m still happy without a shower or bachelorette party.
If you feel this strongly about it, keep your foot down and don’t have one just because other people say you need one! Like you, I am just looking forward to being married. The ceremony is important to me. The reception is just a big dinner party afterward to celebrate and then I can breathe my sigh of relief 🙂
Post # 6
Thanks Lida… btw nice wedding date 😉
Post # 7
@ElbieKay: You too! I am really looking forward to September 4th! 😀