(Closed) Crap marriage making me lose my mind

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
8953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

shellybelly83:  “At this point I know I need to leave him.” — Yep. Realizing that is a great step. You said you don’t need advice, so I won’t give any. Except, yep.

Post # 3
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I know you just wanted to vent, but *hug*

If you need to chat, please feel free to PM me 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee

(((Hugs))) in sorry you’re married to an asshole. I know you are going to leave him and I’m sure you’ll find a lot of support on here. Just because this marriage didn’t work out doesnt mean that you wont be in an amazing marriage down the road when you’re ready. I’m proud that you’re taking the steps to get out of this shitty relationship. I hope his dick shrivels up and falls off. 

Post # 5
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

That is definitely emotionally abusive behavior, and deeply so. It’s textbook abusive. I’m so sorry you’re so unhappy and that your husband is so mean and controlling. It takes a really strong and brave person to leave what’s familiar or even acknowledge that the situation is unacceptable. Sending virtual hugs. 

Post # 6
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Oh man bee you need to leave ASAP. Seriously. Don’t think of anything else just get a place and get out. That is not a safe place for you.

Post # 7
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I am so sorry to read this. I read the whole thing, it kept getting worse and worse, and finally when I got to the part that you said you know you need to leave him, I felt relieved. Yes, please leave him. For your own safety. 

Post # 8
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

Okay, first I am terribly sorry to hear that you’re going through this.

Second, if he’s been violent recently – especially involving anything to do with choking or strangling or putting his hands around your neck – I advise you seek medical attention. There have been cases where, despite not showing any signs of imminent medical distress, people have died hours or even days after being choked/strangled. Putting a hand around someone else’s neck is very serious.

Best of luck.

Post # 9
Member
47280 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

shellybelly83:  If he is going away at Christmas without you, you have the ideal time to leave coming right up. There is never an excuse for violence . There is no excuse for the disrespect he shows you. Cut your losses and end this unfortunate marriage.

Post # 10
Member
7501 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m so sorry bee. I’m glad that you realize you need to leave him. Please don’t focus on the length of your marriage and just get out of there ASAP.

*hugs*

 

Post # 11
Member
3021 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would agree that you need to get out as quick as possible. Your husband sounds like an emotional tumor and he needs to be cut off.

I’m very sorry for what you’re going through and I know you’ll find that in life what matters is your health first and foremost which includes your happiness. There are many men out there whom respect and engage with their partners as equals. This is not out of the cards for you…you will find that person if that’s your wish in the future.

The worse thing you can do is compare. Many relationships here have struggles. Some people don’t share the dark aspects of their relationships and many of the relationships that seem perfect take a lot of work to keep healthy. No relationship is perfect. We live and we learn…we trust and that doesn’t make us a bad person. You trusted him to be the person you once loved and unfortunately he made that choice to be whom he is now. Do what’s best for you and try to focus on the good aspects of what leaving will do for your life.

Wishing you all the best.

Post # 12
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh my god. Please call a domestic violence hotline in your area for advice on how to leave him safely, if he’s been violent before, you will be at high risk for retaliation when you leave. Wishing you the best, I wouldn’t wish a husband like this on my worst enemy. No one deserves this treatment.

Post # 13
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like it’s time to stop venting and start moving- away from this abusive marriage. Please do not stay with this nasty man any longer.

Post # 14
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

So what good qualities does he have?  I know it’s hard when you are in it, but honey you need to run far far away. Quickly! 

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