(Closed) Crappy Things My Friends Have Done (Wedding-Related)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry that your friends were so mean about your wedding, especially forwarding you that email.  I don’t have any similar stories but you will be able to get through this and in the end you are marrying the guy of your dreams!

Post # 4
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

IMO none of these things were that bad to say that these people aren’t your friends.  I wouldn’t think too much about it.  The first one seems like it could have been a joke.  Did he say it via internet?  Maybe the tone was just lost.  To me, the second seems pretty legit.  I know my cousin moved her bachlorette party for me so I wouldn’t have to fly across the country for another event.  I didn’t ask her to do it.  She just moved it to when I would already be home.  Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is expensive, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have a bachlorette party a little early to save her the cost of a flight.  And the last one does seem uncalled for if you traveled for their weddings.  Again, maybe it was just sent as a joke?  I would just take a deep breath, realize that you can’t please everyone, and think about something else that’s going right with the wedding planning, or don’t even think about the wedding at all.  Just take a break and come back to it when you’re not stressed out about these things. Good luck!

Post # 5
1565 posts
Bumble bee

It really sucks to have to hear all of those comments one after the other. Just remember that they are thinking of everything from their perspective, not yours. Are you having a destination wedding that’s difficult for people to get to? When we were considering one, we got negative comments as well, and we ended up choosing the location most convenient to the majority of guests. 

Specific comments

#1) That’s just weird. Did he provide explanation or eventually give you the address? Maybe it was just a bad joke. 

#2) Not too bad actually, I think my shower is going to be 4-5 months prior to wedding to accommodate bridesmaids schedules. FI’s bachelor party is being organized around a GM’s summer plans so that he doesn’t have to fly back for it. Flying back for a party is expensive and extravagant, and I think your Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t being too unreasonable

#3) This one’s a bit insensitive…but guys are often very insensitive in general, they just don’t get how hurtful it can be. 

Focus on the positive – I’m sure your friends still love you, these comments make it seem like they are just a bit clueless, not uncaring. 

Post # 7
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think as brides we become more sensitive. That doesn’t mean those things weren’t kind of rude though. My example? We are having a pretty laid back reception on New Years Eve, and as part of dessert we are having a make your own smores bar. I was telling my cousin (a bridesmaid) this — and she said “what, are we camping?!” My sis (MOH) was there and immediately said ” I think it’s awesome!” LOL. I sort of froze.

Post # 8
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I know how you feel about friends. Only one member of my BP is truly a close friend and I’m having to pay for his flight up here, but he won’t commit to coming so I can’t book it until he knows for sure…grrr!

Post # 9
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My brother told his gf (of 10 yrs who may as well be my sil by now) well since they’re having a small ceremony thats private I don’t think you have to come and might not even be invited. Just show up to eat at the reception after work… I corrected that pretty quickly but I just couldn’t believe how much of a dumb moment that was for him..

Post # 10
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am more on the sensitive side these days, so that would have upset me.  I can understand how you would feel bad with the comments said. try not to let it get to you!

Post # 11
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would be offended as well. Although with weddings people become and act strange. I would try and not let it bother you too much. There are so many exciting and great things that are going to occur between then and now. Try to focus on that. You can never make everyone happy.

Post # 12
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I did a post on this last night.. In one day I had three things happen to me.. I find that wedding planning somedays comments can be hurtful other days it just rolls off the back and I dont even think of it.


Post # 13
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Well the only two thigns I’ve had to deal with are my mom making every snide remark possible and friends/some family making comments about us having OUR wedding OUR state and not in their state (3,000 miles away). i’ve let it all go though because i don’t give a Sh$t anymore 🙂 the people who are my close friends and relatives didnt say anything negative and in fact have supported our decision to have it here. try to keep your head up and let those negative comments roll off your back too.

Post # 14
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010


i think wedding planning brings on a lot more stress internally, than it does externally with all of the “things that need to get done.”

just understand that they’re on the other side of the fence and may not understand or be as sensitive as  you’d like ppl to be.

i can def say i was prolly that insensitive friend to another bride at some point or another. not intentionally, but not really realizing how important and how big of a deal a wedding truly is!

and i now know, esp being in the bridal shoes now!

Post # 15
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i think for me it was the lack of talking that upset me about my friends. they never asked about the wedding or talked about it. ever. my friend’s mother was way more excited that she was (i’ve known her since kindergarten), and her mom would constantly ask me questions and tell me how happy she was for me. but all of my friends…. nothing.

when it was time for my shower, i had to bug them to rsvp. and when i did, one of them said, “yeah, i can go, it’s on a day that’s good for me because i don’t do anything on sundays and it’s close to my house so it’s convenient.” no, “i’m so excited for your shower!” it’s convenient. thanks.

we have grown up together and talked about how fun it will be for the bachelorette party of the first person to get married (me), but my bridesmaids (only my sister and sil b/c it’s a small wedding) decided to give me a surprise trip to vermont, just the bridal party. we did this for my sil too and had a party at home as well for all of her friends at home, so i thought since my friends were so excited for a bachelorette party they would throw something, nothing huge. nope. nothing. i complained to another friend about it and she put one together, but i felt like it was a pity bachelorette party.

i could go on forever about my friends and their lack of interest in my wedding. i know they have their reasons, and quite frankly i don’t give a damn. when your good friend has something as huge as a wedding, you’re happy for her. plain and simple.

Post # 16
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

When we told my mum we were engaged she was quite vocal in her disappointment that I was getting married and not pregnant (which is what she’d assumed our ‘special news’ was. She made a million comments about the wedding being Catholic and when I told her I might go back to my natural hair colour for the wedding she stopped deadpan and went; ‘Mouse?’. It’s funny now but at the time I was gutted.

I think as brides-to-be we are more senstive than we’d usually be but people should totally remember that and not be rude.

Try not to let it bother you, in the great scheme of things, what they think/say doesn’t matter.

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