(Closed) Crazy bridesmaid – need help!

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This feels like a really stupid reason to end a friendship. If you really want to save the relationship I’d just apologize for hurting her feelings by not saying goodbye. If you don’t want to salvage the friendship then don’t apologize and move on.

Post # 5
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow, well this seems like this is a misunderstanding that has gotten way out of hand. Clearly there is maybe some insuecurity in your friendship on her part. In my experience things are never resolved by email or text, so I’m glad you’ve been trying to call her. 

Maybe leave her a message saying “Hey I’m sorry that we’ve had a misunderstanding about Saturday night. I think both of our feelings are hurt right now and I’d love to meet up for coffee to clear the air”. Leave the ball in her court after that and hopefully you guys can make ammends. 

Post # 6
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It is hard because I am only hearing your side of the story and I am wondering what her side of the story is for her to think this was all your fault.

To be completely honest it doesn’t sound like you both thought the other one was doing the avoiding and you didn’t say good bye and so I would just suck it up apologize and make things right again.

If this happens continually I would think about ending the friendship but not over one miscommunication.

Post # 7
5165 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 To me the whole thing sounds flimsy and little childish. if you are close enough to ask her to be your Bridesmaid or Best Man then arrange a meetup and talk things through face to face.


Post # 8
2546 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with the PP’s. This seems like such a silly reason to end the friendship, especially with someone you are close enough to ask them to be a bridesmaid. Apologize and move on.

Post # 11
12 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

wow.. she sounds like a friend I used to have in college! We were best friends for awhile, then she started changing and would get mad at the stupidest things.

I agree that it is not something to end a friendship over… but at this point, you have done your part in trying to communicate with her and she wants no part of it. I personally would leave it as it is and let her come around. If she doesn’t, then you have your answer.

If she does come around, you need to let her know (in person, not via text or email) that you apologize for how stupid you acted, and that it really hurts your feelings that she acted the same and didn’t want to talk to you about it. Tell her you still want to be friends and you don’t want to let something so childish come between you. From experience, demanding that someone apologize NEVER works. It always seems makes the person defensive and crazy for some reason.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and take the high road and apologize even if you don’t think you should. If she continues to act that way (like my college friend did.. she would NEVER apologize for ANYTHING), then you should reconsider cutting your losses and finding a new friend.

As far as your bachelorette party is concerned, talk to your other BMs about it and see if the one who is local wouldn’t mind taking over the planning or trying to contact her to see what’s going on. You shouldn’t have to worry about it.

Hope this helps!

Post # 13
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Mya Rose: Eep! I’m sorry my advice did not pan out 🙁 

At least you know that you did the best you could by having an adult conversation with her about how to mutually resolve this problem. Clearly there is more going on with her than a lack of a proper goodbye. 

Best of luck with the rest of you planning! 

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