(Closed) crazy email response to not getting a plus 1!!! -long vent!-

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 108
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We had to deal with the same situation during our wedding.   We’d been engaged for 3 years and had actually started heavy planning this past November (for a July wedding), this included setting our guest list in stone after finding our location.  At the time we set the guest list, we took into consideration the same things you did:  engaged, married, living together, etc.  At the time the list was made FI’s brother was not serious with anyone, he had just moved to a new stated and JUST started seeing someone (a month is not serious in my book).  He received an invitation without a +1 and was pissed that is Girlfriend couldn’t come.  Fiance explained to him that our location was only so big, only had so much room for guests and that we hadn’t realized it was that big of a deal since they had just started seeing each other.  Come to find out, they got engaged in April.  He then asked again about her coming; at this point we stated that as soon as we get a firm number on who’s coming we’ll let him know… if there was room she was first on the list.  Since then Fiance was told that I would not be invited to their wedding for the same reason (I’m not family, even though we’ll be married almost a year at that point).  Long story short, in the end we had room for her to come and when we told his brother this his response was ‘it doesn’t matter anyway, she couldn’t get off work’… THEN WHAT DIFFERENCE DID IT MAKE!  Y DID YOU THROW A FIT ABOUT IT… ugh… trust me, I understand…  (OH, and the brother didn’t come to the wedding either… )

Post # 109
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969



Do not sweat this stuff.  I had the same thing happen with my Future Mother-in-Law’s sister’s boyfriend…uuuuhhh – right.

It’s sad that this person can’t accept the decisions you’ve made on YOUR wedding, but that’s the most simple answer out there.  It’s YOUR wedding – your in this case also being collective.  Don’t lose one wink of sleep over the friendship that is obviously based on something completely different.

We are having our wedding well outside of wedding season in the evening with a buffet cooked by my dad and his mom, and it’s still tight.  Times are tough.  Tell her to hit the road.  It’s not your problem – it’s hers.

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