(Closed) crazy ex, police or? (Closed)

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If i were you i would document any conversations with her and maybe look into a restraining order

Post # 3
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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aphroditeexo :  Does she live in your state? It can be incredibly difficult to file a report for harrassment, etc which occurred online, but especially if you are in different states. If I were you, I’d go into the police department to talk to someone about what you can/should do. Unfortunately with internet stuff there is often not much to be done,l but it doesn’t hurt to check with your local PD to see what they think you should do.

 

ETA: In addition , block her on everything and don’t feed the troll. Your snappy responses indicate to her that you are owrried and it makes her think she still has a chance with your DH. Cut off ALL contact woth her. No responses, even though I know it’s tempting.

Post # 5
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

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aphroditeexo :  Okay. Probably not much they can do. They may be able to construe the photo of darts in pictures of you as a threat, but that is highly discretional and it would still be some form of contact with her to file charges, I think it would just add fuel to her wacko fire.

It would be much more satisfying to simply ignore her and let her collapse in on herself in a black hole of crazy. I had an ex who wasn’t quite like that (no contact with DH, that I know of), but he would contact me every so often to see if he could win me back. He’d do so under the guise of friendship, so being “nice” I would always reply to his messages and ask how he was doing. In a few short messages it would always go back to “Are you still with HIM?” and so on. The only way I got him to go away was to stop responding and stop fueling his need for attention from me. It’s really the only way.

Sorry you are going through this! If you (and your DH) both completely ignore her, she will get so frustrated that she will give up.

Post # 6
Member
1807 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Call the police. I had this problem with an ex-boss. I had to testify against her in court. She had sexually assaulted a co-worker and I had walked in on it happening. I was 7 months pregnant at the time, and was having very bad vomiting and migraines (I’d lost 30 pounds by this point, and was feeling pretty crappy). One day she called me at home, told me her son was all upset about the court date coming up (he’s a hockey player in the major leagues) and said something like “My son says he’s really going to mess up anyone who hurts his mom”. I said something like “You shouldn’t be calling me. This is really inappropriate” and hung up.

Later that day we were at my husband’s grandparents, and I was sicker than usual – spent the whole day in the bathroom just sick as a dog. I told them about the phone call, and how much it had upset me. They called the police right away – even though I didn’t think it was necessary. Fortunately, the Police took her threats really seriously. They took down a statement about her threats, told me if she called again to call them immediately. They left me their contact numbers. Then the police went to her house and told her she was to have absolutely no contact with me. If she did, they would arrest her. If her son talked to me they would arrest him. They made it really clear to her that she can’t do that sort of thing.

I never heard from her again.

I’m one of those people who feels that restraining orders aren’t worth the paper they’re written on, as I used to have a really insane ex-boyfriend who went crazy and tried to kill me with a hunting knife – and I figured if he really wanted to kill me, no police order could stop him. But I know in this particular case with my boss, just having the police talk to her was enough to get her to stay away. If this ex-girlfriend of your FIs is “normal crazy” and not “insane crazy” like my ex, I would guess that getting a good talking to from the RCMP might be all that she needs to stop all contact. At least that way you won’t be worried about her showing up at your wedding. I was certainly concerned my crazy ex boyfriend would show up at my wedding – so much that we actually had plans set where certain people were on the lookout for him and his car, and if he did show up there was a room that I was to retreat to while he was restrained. We were just too concerned he actually might show up with a gun and try something.

AH.. the crazy life I’ve led. Life now is just so calm in comparison … Thank God.

Post # 7
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t have Instagram so I’m not sure how it works, but is there a way to set the privacy settings to where she can’t see your profile or have any contact with you? I would just continue to ignore her and block her via every social media/online account. If she still finds a way to contact you or your husband and pulls a similar stunt to the dart board picture, I would then take it to the police. 

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